It's been a while...

Oh, it certainly HAS been a while. 2013 has been an utter failure for me thus far with writing! 3 1/2 months without a new post?! For shame! But here I am with plenty of updates, and to be honest I'm not entirely sure what I want to write about. But God will do as God always does...He will use what is written here to bring glory to His Kingdom. So frankly it doesn't even matter what I write. My purpose is to glorify God with whatever is written, so it will be what God wills it to be. So here I am with nothing but the Spirit and a glass of chamomile tea at my disposal. Thanks to all who read...be blessed, friend!

Well it certainly seems strange that almost 1/3 of 2013 has flown by already. Highlighted by God leading me to my wonderful and amazing girlfriend Sarah, I've officially become a member of a church for the first time in my life, have gone to Kansas on a business trip, magically contracted mono (and have beaten it, thank God), and started assistant coaching for baseball at my high school. It's already been a whirlwind...awake at 5:45 on most days to either go to the gym or start work now that baseball season started, active until 5, generally have plans after that, and I'm home sometime after 8:00 at night. Then I go to bed and do it all over again! It's been exhausting but rewarding.

I guess all this busy schedule has had me exhausted to the point where I would have a cool theological thought earlier in the day, but would either be too busy or too exhausted to write about it later. Which is strange since most of my writings occur at dark o'clock in the morning anyway. But I guess I'm getting old or something...I normally can't stay up past 12 without my eyelids snapping shut. You definitely get old after college, that's for sure.

But enough about my updates...that's not why I keep this blog. I generally just spill my guts in hopes that someone can learn from either my good decisions or my mistakes, and I certainly have plenty of mistakes to learn from. I was thinking about one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books, The Disciplined Life. It goes like this: "It is reported that when a professional author said to Sir Winston Churchill that he couldn't write unless the "mood" cam on him, the great statesman replied: 'No! Shut yourself in your study from nine to one and make yourself write. Prod yourself!-kick yourself!-it's the only way.'" This quote comes in a section entitled "Priorities", and in a chapter entitled "Discipline the Mark of Maturity". See, I was thinking tonight of why I haven't written in so long. Why haven't I sat down just to write what God was laying on my mind? Why am I even writing now that I don't have a specific thought to write about? I wrote a blogpost about 2 years ago entitled "Avoiding Mediocrity". I find it profound just for myself, because I can look back on my own life and get a better understanding of what I'm going through now. In it, I said the quote "...I know what happens when I become mediocre. I fall into old sins that consume me and often seem impossible to beat." And this is true. I look back and think, "Well I generally struggle with sexual sins and anger. Um...I THINK I'm doing okay? I mean I don't see any issues." This is common when dealing with mediocrity and apathy. "Eh, everything looks fine. No big deal. I mean yeah I mess up now and then, but nobody's perfect. Oh well." But then I took another look. I have quite a few people that can attest to this, but work has been getting to me lately. I've been getting frustrated with callers, talking short to them, muting the phone and saying what I want before unmuting the phone. C'mon...that's not me. But it is when I become mediocre and just stop caring. Something's wrong here...

My "life verse", if you will, is Proverbs 15:9, "The LORD detests the way of the wicked, but he loves those who pursue righteousness." I've talked about this before...but my favorite word in this verse is the word "pursue". What happens when you're in pursuit of something? Do you not go headlong into trying to get what you're pursuing? Do you not develop some kind of strategy and proceed step-by-step until you have what you want? Men, think about pursuing a girl you like. The proper way, mind you...if you're just trying to get into someone's pants then you're a shell of a man and need help. But when you want a relationship with a girl, you figure out "Ok, how can I get her? I need to find out what she likes, come up with a few icebreakers, work up some courage to actually ask her out..." And so on. Fun fact, I wanted to pursue a relationship with Sarah, but I almost didn't. She lives in Maryland and I live in Pennsylvania...I just didn't see it working. But then my friends convinced me to break the ice anyway, and at the risk of sounding fruity, it's been nothing but magical ever since that. The point being, I wanted her, so I pursued her. It would've been easy for me to just try to forget about her and move along, wading through my pool of mediocrity. I wanted her...but I was going to give up? That's not a pursuit! No, I invested my time, effort, and prayer time, and wouldn't stop until I had her. That doesn't sound like mediocrity. And hopefully I'm not leading you too off-course...this isn't Chris's "How to get a girlfriend 101" seminar. The objective is defining what pursuit looks like. Now go back to Proverbs 15:9. Who does the Lord love? Those that PURSUE RIGHTEOUSNESS! If we believe in God and in Jesus Christ, we want the Lord's love. The way to get to this is to pursue righteousness. What is righteousness? I'll leave that up to you to figure out...I would need a whole library of blogposts to give a proper biblical definition.

But I think the problem with many of us stuck in this is desensitization. Meaning, we don't even realize what we're stuck in, and we're fine with just coasting along. One of my current favorite songs matches this perfectly, and especially the music video for it. The song is The Proof of Your Love by For King & Country. The music video combined with the words of the song...if it doesn't hit your heart in some way, start praying for yourself. This song is incredibly powerful. But in the music video, they start off in a weird dungeon-like prison where they're gagged and earmuffed, and even have weird scales over their eyes so they're basically just walking zombies (like many people in the corporate environment or in bars, no?). In short, they're desensitized. It isn't until one boy sings, "So let my life be the proof, the proof of Your love" that the lead singer has the scales removed from his eyes and he begins singing as well. By singing, people are hearing and slowly coming to their senses again. At the end of the video, the two lead singers are in the middle of a circle of the "bad guys", but they continue to sing as all of the desensitized prisoners break out of the prison/dungeon. It is beyond powerful. The dungeon and the modes of desensitizing represent the bond that Satan tries, and sometimes succeeds, to force on us. When we're faced with times of mediocrity or apathy, we're under attack. Satan wants all Christians down for the count and will do anything to stop us. He'll make us lose hope, stop caring for others, get tired of it all, and just sit back and veg out. The bombing at the Boston Marathon just happened today, and I saw a friend's status about being desensitized to the depravity and tragedy all around us. He's right. We've stopped caring about tragedy. This event will cause many Christians to lose hope and put on a "why bother?" attitude. And look at the heroes of the day, those that put themselves in harm's way to respond quickly and tend to as many people as they could. Whether this event becomes media-blown or not, I don't care...it's a tragedy regardless and needs its due attention. Thinking about the singers in the video...they opened their mouths to spread Christ's love. They got hurt, beaten, and continued to sing.

But one of the most profound parts of the song is the spoken word part, where he quotes 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 from The Message: "If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." How many of us become mediocre and desensitized, and still try to play the Christian game? I know I do. I get tired, and then stop caring, but I'll still sing hymns in church without a second thought to how the prior week went. That's not how this works...and I can barely even look at myself in the mirror after writing that last sentence. I'm disgusted by it. Now what do we do about it? Proverbs 15:9. If you need to start loving again, PURSUE it. If you need to find God again, PURSUE Him. Do you have a broken relationship to repair? PURSUE it! Don't stop...pursue it. And when you think you're getting exhausted from pursuing, pray and BEG God for His Spirit to keep you going. Satan will attack, that's a guarantee. And we are positively foolish when we try to take demons on by ourselves. For (most) men, there's nothing manly or wise about trying to take a demon on alone. For (most) women, you're not troubling God with your request...He longs for your voice and your request and just wants to see you come to Him. And vice versa applies too...I'm sure women prefer to not let anyone in and try to take things on alone, and I'm sure some men feel guilty coming to God with such a request. God wants us. And when Satan attacks, we need to start screaming and run to God. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (emphasis added). He'll give us rest. "Don't worry, I got it," He says. When we take a demon on alone, we have every reason to be absolutely terrified. But when God is fighting on our behalf, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39. Nothing can stop us with God.

I said this in my previous post 2 years ago, "Mediocrity is a vicious devil, my friends. It isn't just a ho-hum life...it's fully embracing Satan's will for your life." 2 years later and that hasn't changed. We have to be on constant watch and have constant support from fellow Christians to make sure that we aren't being desensitized to this world. We have to endure tragedies, love passionately, serve faithfully, and pursue always. Pursuit isn't something you take a break from. Thank God for that. How else would we have a chance to be so close to God if we weren't violently pursuing righteousness? Pursue and don't stop. When you drop the scales from your eyes and take off the earmuffs, you'll realize your life depends on it.

I pray that what was written in the past 2 hours of my time is impactful. As I said before, God will use this how God intends, and I praise Him for that. He can do with this far more than I ever could on my own. And here's the music video I talked about. For your own sake, please open your heart for 4 1/2 minutes and watch it. This song brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. God bless you, friend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-2dKOfbC9c

Reflections and challenges on this Eve #2

I wrote a similar post last year, so I decided to hopefully start a tradition of a post every Christmas Eve! It also helps that there's a specific theme I wanted to write about. So welcome back, and thanks to all who read!

I went to my co-worker's church this past Sunday to watch him preach, which was really cool to see him in an environment outside of work. They lit the final advent candle, and he preached on the concept of joy, which is what the last advent candle stands for. He reminded us of that...I know I forget what it stands for year after year haha. Everyone seems to be in the "Christmas spirit" and giving freely and cheerfully, so on the surface it seems like it shouldn't be so hard to be joyful. Or is it?

There was one statement that Adam (my co-worker) made that really stuck out to me during his sermon: "Joy is a decision". I wasn't sure how I felt about that at first. I mean, we have eternal life in Christ, shouldn't that be enough to make us joyful all the time? And more often than not, why doesn't it?

But I thought about this, and I thought of the notoriously short passage of 1 Thessalonians 5:17 - "Rejoice evermore", or for the NIV folks, "Be joyful always." Here, Paul phrases this as a command and a challenge. Rejoice. Be joyful. Not "you're going to be joyful all the time." So joy DOES end up being a decision. Let me tell you a little more about how joy is a decision. Right now it's hard to even concentrate writing this because my upstairs neighbors sound like their dog is about to come through the ceiling, as per usual. Plus, the female neighbor upstairs yells at anything and everything, but mostly her dog and fiancee. So right now my snap reaction isn't to knock on their door and give them a holly-jolly greeting, we'll just say that.

But the bigger thing happened about 2 weeks ago when I lost my wallet. Don't know how or where I lost it, but it still hasn't turned up and probably never will. Not that one time is better than another for losing your wallet, but this was very inopportune. Bills were due, Christmas shopping had to be done, I was almost out of gas, and I was sitting in the parking lot of Karns wanting to buy fruit for the game I was leading at church, which was in 1 1/2 hours at this point. To add to that, I live alone...my wallet is my only means to pay for things. Granted, I had plenty of people willing to help me out, but I was a little flustered. How many of you would've lost your minds at this point? Knowing me and my tendencies, I probably should have. But thank God for bringing me as far as He has, because I stepped back from everything (after operating in frenzy mode for the next hour trying to get the game ready for AWANA), and I had a decision to make. And I made my decision...I was going to be joyful. I knew that God was going to take care of me one way or another. Even if I didn't have friends to offer me money and I somehow died from losing my wallet (I know, drastic), God still would've taken care of me. He would've just brought me to Heaven! Cool, now I NEVER need a wallet!

And this is the joy we all need to have. Not saying I'm a perfect example...far from it. But in this situation I made a decision to be joyful because God has already given me the promise of Heaven. That's all I need, and it's more than enough! "Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory." - 1 Peter 1:8. "And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour" - Luke 1:47. Pick pretty much any of the Psalms...joy is all through them. Even the infamous Psalm 51, all about David's sin with Bathsheba. Yes, he cries out, "For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me" - 51:3. But read on, "Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice" - 51:8. Keep going..."Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." - 51:12. Then he ends with verses 16-19, all of which basically say "God, have your way. Do your will." I can see David already having a sense of joy that while he cries out, he KNOWS God is going to approve of his cry and bless him for it. Listen to what James says...1:2 (emp. added) "My brethren, count it all JOY when ye fall into divers temptations," Why? 1:3 - Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." Patience. The ability to handle more with superior grace and understanding. Like I've been feeling God helping me with. And here's one more little aside, something else that caught my eye. True joy only comes from God. We can't get it ourselves and we can't find it in anything else. Here's what I mean..."Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased." - Psalm 4:7. That's the fancy King James way of saying, alcohol ain't gonna getcha no joy! I know plenty of people who love to get drunk to forget about life's problems. Sure, it may make you happy for a time, if you even remember it. But joy beats happiness every day of the week. You can choose to argue that if you'd like, but taste and see that the Lord is good, then come back and tell me which you prefer.

Well, it's 2 hours before Christmas gets here. I know in my own life, quite a bit has happened that could easily tear down my joy if I let it. Joy IS a decision. Remember Jesus' birth, death, and resurrection. Celebrate the fact that God Incarnate came to earth to save our helpless little sinful souls from a quick journey to Hell. So next time you see your family arguing over the dinner table, next time someone cuts you off driving, next time someone almost nails you with their cart in the grocery store, make a decision. The decision DOES affect you and any involved parties. When December 25th comes, choose joy. When December 26th comes, keep choosing joy. Watch your world and the world around you change slowly but ever so surely. Choose joy from the only place you can: the cross of Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas everyone. Celebrate! OUR LORD IS BORN!!!!!!!

"He gave them over..."

I'm having a great morning so far today. I'm currently in a hotel lobby in South Carolina while my road trip buddy is still asleep in the room. I woke up, had a great (and free) breakfast, read Romans 1, and now grabbed my computer because God gave me this really cool thought...even though I'm only running on 3 1/2 hours of sleep. And it's never a bad time to blog :)

The reason that I'm really excited about this particular post is because it's not really about any events in my own life. I can relate to something, I'm sure. But this post is more about the nature of God, which is what our whole life's story is really about anyway. So as I was going through Romans 1, I came across verse 24, "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another" (emphasis added). It didn't hit me at first, but then I came across verse 28, ""Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done" (emphasis added). Hmmm..."he gave them over". What does that say about God's nature?

We obviously live in a fallen world. Life can treat us badly, and often unfairly (which is kind of false because we don't deserve fairness anyway). But even though we live in this fallen world, we have hope because we know that God is a good God and is a God of love and mercy. But there's the ever-popular quandry...why does God allow suffering in this world? Why does God allow people to go to hell? How can God be a God of love and at the same time be a God of wrath and justice? You see, these verses showed me something about God today.

When I read these verses, I thought a lot about the many unsaved people that I know and encounter. I would venture to say that a lot of people I know believe there's a God, but just never really studied Him or just don't believe He's powerful enough to do all of the things the Bible says He can do. Many of the same people find the Bible errant or contradictory, and would likely present verses like these as arguments. Granted, I'm naturally a skeptic too, and that's why I want to explore this. But I don't see this as a contradiction at all, and here's why. Yes, God is a God of love, peace, wrath, and justice...this is all His nature. We are his loved children (Beloved, now are we the sons of God - 1 John 3:2...among many other verses), we are holy in God's sight (In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight - Colossians 1:22). But that's what we are...we are children, and that will always be our place. We are not the Father. We are not perfect, we are only perfected through the work of Christ (ref. my previous blog post). So that is our place in this whole picture...we are under God fully. He is eternal, we're only here for an extremely short period of time in the realm of eternal.

There are places all over the Bible where God "gave them over", "them" meaning anyone...those that followed him and those that didn't and don't. "But God turned away and gave them over to the worship of the heavenly bodies. This agrees with what is written in the book of the prophets: "'Did you bring me sacrifices and offerings forty years in the desert, O house of Israel?'" - Acts 7:42. "So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices." - Psalm 81:12. Why? Why does a loving God do this? Now think about this...what do you think would happen to us if we abandoned God? That our lives would go WELL? Yeah I don't think so. In most of these instances where God gives people over to evil, they begin to worship false idols. God loves us so much that He gets angry with us when this happens ("For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God" - Exodus 34:14). That would be like me calling another married couple "mom and dad" just because I don't want to follow my own parents direction. They love me...I'm their son, and they would be upset if I were to do that. But we do it all the time when we put anything in the place where God should be. So even though God is still a loving God, he disciplines us by "giving us over" to sin.

And many people think this is unfair of God or just wrong of him to do. But is it really? I've said it before, God has made us with a free will, and He wants us to FREELY choose Him, not because He makes us come to Him. God is perfect and unapproachable ("And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live." - Exodus 33:20), but He still loves us so much and He desires us that he presents us the opportunity through Christ to come to Him ("Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." - Hebrews 4:16). This is God's love, and it's free. We think God is unfair. Yeah right. Why do we think we deserve something good from God? The only thing we deserve from abandoning an all-perfect and all-loving God is a one-way trip to hell. The reason God gives us over to our sinful desires is to give us an opportunity to come freely to Him. Not because He wants us to suffer, but because He knows who He is, and He knows the joy that only He can provide to us. But we have to seek it, we can't just expect it from God after we abandoned His love. Plain and simple, bad things happen when we don't keep God in our lives.

Sometimes I hear unsaved people jokingly scoff by saying, "Where is your God NOW?" I know where my God is all the time. And everyone would too if they chose to seek rather than scoff. God doesn't punish us unjustly...He gives us over to sinful desires and struggles so that we learn just how desperately we need Him. When we live in a comfortable house and have had most things provided for you (like I've had most of my life), it's easy to think that we're just fine without God. And it may seem like we're doing okay right now. But it's not the case...we desperately need God now, and we DEFINITELY desperately need God later. So when you face struggles and old sins, don't blame. Don't whine. Don't scoff. But seek God...because that's what He wants. How fortunate we are that God brings us down to size so that we can be PERFECT through Him.

Father, sometimes I don't understand your ways. I complain when I go through trials. I wonder why I end up in the same old places I've been before. But your Word is truth, and you've allowed me the ability to read you've said rather than mindlessly having it spoon-fed to me. Through everything endure, in the fight to carry on, help me to stand and face the rain because your Word says it will make me stronger. Thank you for allowing me freely into your presence, even though I don't deserve it. And may these words be yours for your own glory, and may these words reach the hearts of others reading. It's your story Father...not mine. Amen.

Perfection: far and near

Once again, it's been way too long since I blogged. And since I have the next 6 days off of work, what better time than the present! Thank you to all who read...it really means more to me than you'll ever know.

Tonight after volleyball, I stayed much later than I normally do to do something I haven't done in a very long time. Back when I still lived in Halifax, I used to take bike rides to the local elementary school, because it was the only place in that desolate town that I could find a basketball hoop lol. I used to go there, sit on the swing set and pray, and focus my mind by practicing my free throws. It wasn't a true foul shot, since the rim was only about 6 feet tall, but it sufficed. So tonight I took a breather from life. I continued taking shots long after everyone had left, and while I was shooting I got a really awesome parallel from God.

Free throws are an interesting beast in basketball. It's somewhat similar to pitching in baseball, in a way. Pretty much everyone, more or less, knows how to throw a ball. I know with athletic people like myself, we practice throwing to the point where it becomes comfortable and natural to us. Whenever you watch baseball players, their throws are smooth, seamless, and seemingly effortless. But when you watch a pitcher, they don't just throw a ball. Pitchers take some of the craziest motions just to get the ball to the plate, myself included. Same goes with free throws. Again most people, more or less, know how to shoot a basketball. But watch that same player when he/she gets to the free throw line. They may take about 15-20 seconds just to shoot the ball, after a series of spinning the ball off the ground, spinning it in their hand, dribbling very precisely a certain number of times, shooting fast/slow, and so on. They get all the time in the world to focus on their one shot where no one is guarding them. Even though they're shooting a 15-foot shot, it's one of the easiest shots in basketball. Or, logically, one would think.

So since it's so easy to shoot free throws, especially if you've practiced them for a long time and are good at them, it can be understandable to get frustrated after missing one. Everything becomes methodical about the shot. Myself, I have a VERY specific technique shooting free throws. I spin the ball off the ground once, dribble twice, spin the ball in both hands, bend at the knees, then look up at the rim as I'm becoming upright, and take my shot, ending on my tiptoes and taking 1 or 2 steps back, and as all of this is going on I also inhale and exhale 3 times, for no other reason than it's just my comfort area and that's what I do. It's very machine-like, and I don't divert from it. Yet occasionally, I miss the mark. Just a bit to the left, just a bit deep or short, or it just doesn't get that lucky bounce.

Well, tonight something happened. I was shooting while people were still there, and was shooting very well...it seemed like everything was falling. Then took a short break to talk to the last person there before she left, then got back to shooting. But when I got back to shooting, something was off. One miss. Then another. Three in a row. Uh oh. And these weren't "just barely" misses...I was missing pretty badly. It was then I did something I'm not used to. Typically I get frustrated if something goes wrong and I let it get ahold of my better judgment. But this time I took a step back. I breathed deeply. I closed my eyes, prayed, and focused. Next shot, another miss. No, I won't get frustrated...just breathe, focus, clear the mind. Next shot rattled in. Then another. And then another. Shortly I was swishing my shots. Ahh...back to normal.

In the middle of my misses, a verse popped into my head. No idea where it came from, so it must have come from God because it really helped me. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." - Psalm 43:5, NIV. I think I saw this on someone's Facebook status (kudos for posting, whoever you are, it helped me). But since I don't have the full verse memorized, the only part that popped in my head was "Why are you downcast, O my soul?" But what a blessing this was to hear this verse. My soul has been VERY downcast lately. I had the blessing of talking with Bill last night, and shared with him all the things that I've been struggling with. I feel empty, like I haven't been fulfilling God's calling for me and that I've strayed from the righteous path. But I took this verse like the question that it is: why are you downcast, O my soul? Why? Well...I don't know. I don't really have any reason to be. So then the command: Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My shot was veering to the left and right of the hoop, even airballing. I stepped back and prayed and focused, and my shot became true.

And it was right after this that the main thought of this post hit me. Perfection. I'm certainly not perfect, far from it. But the thought that hit me was, "I don't have to be perfect, God is already perfect FOR me!" You see the parallel...no matter if I missed my shot or made it, God is still perfect despite my distance from perfection. Sometimes in life we stray to the left or the right. We know the mark we want to achieve, but something we aren't always the straightest arrow shot from the quiver. We veer, we stray, we fall, we mess up. Doesn't matter...God's still perfect. But you see, there's a tricky verse that Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." - Matthew 5:48. Uh oh. BE perfect? Well, the standard has been set for us. The context of this verse is the entirety of Matthew 5. Jesus lists all of the commands that we should be following, and doesn't give us an excuse to not follow them. So then following all of these things, this will make us perfect? "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away" - Isaiah 64:6. Oops, so all of our good deeds are worth nothing then, so how do we become perfect? "The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" - Matthew 25:40.

How do we become perfect? The only way possible is to commune with the only one who IS already perfect, God. I can't tell you the peace I felt tonight when it was just me and God in the gym, practicing my free throws. I was with the Father and He was with me. The only way we stray from the righteous path is simply a lack of communion with God. We define sin as that action which separates us from God. Sinlessness is perfection, therefore the only way to be perfect is to deliberately and desperately commune with Perfection Himself, God. When we are separated from Him, we are in sin. Everyone needs alone time with God...this is why it's so stressed upon and so important, because we're not going to get true communion with God otherwise (dear future me, I'm talking to YOU. Take note.) Why are you downcast, O my soul? I've separated myself from God. I have yet to meet a person that is TRULY happy while staying separate from God. We live in a world full of broken promises and shattered lives. Don't tell me for one second that you're happy without God (now I'm talking to others). Dare to truly analyze your heart, and only then try to tell me that you're happy without God...but I still won't believe it. I'm an absolute disaster area without God in my life. I am so far from perfect, but I am near to the One who IS perfect, which makes me perfect. Complete. Whole. I'm not talking about morals in this thing. I'm talking about being as we once were. God used to walk around in the garden with us! THAT is perfection, being as we were MEANT to be! God creates us sinless, with a free will, in full communion with Him. Then Adam sinned, and now we are force to be separated from Him until we accept Jesus as savior. I know some people don't like the term "saved" because they don't think they need to be rescued. Well fine, then think of it as, God's just that freaking awesome. So don't get "saved", get "God's just that freaking awesome", and you'll come to realize the sin you're in and the perfection and completeness that you can only find in God. God doesn't expect us to not sin, because we're not God. I know I mess up...and every time I do I have to battle back to get on the right path again. But the only way to do that is to surrender my efforts to God and begin to commune with Him. God fills me up every time..."O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him." - Psalm 34:8. Don't think for one second that your life is good without God. As the verse says, taste and see just how good God is. He's not just a hard-nosed fun-sucking rule-driver...He's my Father, and your's too. Go to Him...He's waiting with a complete life you've never imagined before.

Tonight my shot became true. At the end of my shooting session, I took a few shots with my eyes closed. Missed the first 2, swished the next 2. Even blind, God still guided my shot. Even blind, God still guides my future. I will most likely stray again, but God is always waiting with open arms to complete me. What a great God we have.

"While I live will I praise the LORD: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being." - Psalm 146:2

The Importance of Love

Isn't it funny (and awesome) when prayer is answered almost immediately? That happened to me today. Thank you brother Bill :)

Tonight I thought about having the right perspective about things, and finding out what's important in life and WHY it's important. Some background first...I've been in a little rut lately. Only halfheartedly seeking God, halfheartedly reading the Bible and praying, and still somehow expected that God would fill me up the rest of the way. That's not how it works, at least that's not what I've found. So I talked with my best friend Bill today and we both prayed over this, among other things. And after we hung up I felt a little better, but still wasn't really hopeful or feeling like things were different. So I went back home to Halifax to visit my parents and aunt, and I found the refresher I needed.

The drive to Halifax is always beautiful. It's just a totally different atmosphere...even from other countryside environments, it still feels different. The locals call it God's Country, for very good reason...it just seems that God's peace is all around. And every time I cross that beautiful mountain, 88.5 is immediately tuned on my radio, and K-LOVE is blaring its God-music through my car. So I finally got home, and it's somewhat chaotic. My aunt had her tonsils removed and is staying with my parents until she heals up, and her 2 dachshunds are staying there as well, so they have to keep Diesel separate from them. So while she rests upstairs, I got to lift downstairs while my parents were cleaning up the storage room. Yeah I know, not extremely chaotic...but it was just a little different, it seemed like everyone was moving around and being busy.

Well, just before I left we started looking through old pictures from when times were simpler, at least in my own little world. Past Christmas times, birthdays, family vacations with my cousins, oh what great times that seem to be left in repressed memories. Well, it got me thinking. At the time, these were pretty much the only people I knew, and I had fun with them. Even though my cousins were all girls and always wanted me to be the dad when they played house (and even though I always ran to my treehouse when they did, haha), I still had fun with them and I miss those times. Now the youngest of my cousins is in college, and my younger cousin and older cousin are both mothers of 2 and 3 kids respectively. Man, how things change! But these relationships are, still, very important to me.

In the past few years, as we all get older and attitudes change, perspectives change as well. I didn't really know how to deal with the change, so I kept trying to live in older times while everyone continued to grow up around me and I became slightly bitter toward my families. Holidays were more of a burden for me than a joy. But then I looked at these pictures. I remembered how ridiculously blond my hair was, how awesome my cousin Ashley was (and still is), how my cousin Carla was like a sister to me, and how much we laughed when my cousin Emily called my mom "Uncle Deb". :) I started to remember just how much my cousins were there for me and how much I was there for them too. Dare I say...perspective changed? I used to consider family a burden...I don't know how I let that change from being the joy it once was.

So that was a longer background than I anticipated, and I've said in the past that my posts are like mind vomit...I don't really know how it's gonna come out, it just comes out. So if anyone is still reading this far in, seriously, I'm touched! But I want to get more to my point. All of this combined to be the answer of my prayer today, and I got to drive back with a new perspective under the most beautiful nightly cloud cover I've ever seen. The new perspective I got tonight was on the importance of family, but also on the importance of my God. And this made me question what is important to me and how important is it to me. And as I said before, the reason I've been down is because I've only been halfheartedly serving God. I let stuff at work get to me and left a nice little path for Satan to mess with me. Well, all of this stuff combined led me to one conclusion. One word. It's a word that's been tossed around in every contemporary church like tomatoes in a food fight.

Love. Heck, we could all use a bit more love. See, my natural tendency is to see the bad in people before I see the good. And this leads down a road to destruction at breakneck speed. But when we put on glasses of love and care toward each other, we see the world at a different perspective...we begin to see the good in people, and attribute the bad to the influence of Satan. We're not defined by bad things that we do (That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts - Ephesians 4:22), and we're not even defined by good things that we do (But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away - Isaiah 64:6). We're defined as God's prize, His glory (For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them - Ephesians 2:10). And this isn't conditional...we were always this way (Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations - Jeremiah 1:5). EVERYONE is a creation of God's handiwork, and none of us have any right to degrade another. It's true we're all in a spiritual warzone, but a lesson for me is to be careful how to fight it. "I'm in a fight, not physical. I'm in a war, but not of this world." - Counting on God by Phillips, Craig & Dean. Our war is not against our fellow man, but with the evil one (For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. - Ephesians 6:12). And toward our fellow man, we show love.

But love's hard! Heck yes it is...especially when we don't receive it back. I mentioned before of how different the worlds are between Mechanicsburg and Halifax. Living in Mechanicsburg, I became a little more hard-hearted, to my regret. As I was driving in Halifax tonight, a car driving in the other lane kept flashing their high beams at me. I don't typically get road rage, but I was a little annoyed. Then a second person in a row did it, and I got stupidly defensive. "Seriously?! What the heck! Am I doing something wrong???" Then the realization came upon me, and sure enough, there was a deer standing alongside of the road ready to run out in front of somebody. Those people weren't upset at me, they were just lovingly trying to warn me of some danger (sounds like a gospel message, no? I'll save that for another post :) ). I can't say for sure if Mechanicsburg people would be so kind. But that's the beauty of it, and that's why I'm placed where I'm at right now. I'm God's man for the job! "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16. Yeah it's harder to love people over here than it is in Halifax, but that's why I'm here. There's plenty more people here that need God's love, and I still need it just as much as everyone else. I can't claim that it's important to me and then not live it. So let me pose that same question. How important is love to you? How important is God to you? How important are people to you? Hopefully you can answer "very" to all of those questions. Life's too short to hate. Just love. It hurts, but it's worth it. One man about 2000 years ago took three nails and about 40 lashes because of love. It hurt, but he said we were worth it. And I believe him.

Armor Up

Alright...this is going to need a decent amount of preface. I'm not writing this to blast anyone or throw anyone under the bus. I'm not writing this to embarrass or humiliate. And I feel comfortable writing this because it's all over the news in my area and on public domain, just like my blog, so I won't mention names or anything...if you really care, look it up yourselves. But I'm writing this because something is seriously wrong. I'm writing this because livid is an understatement to describe my attitude right now, and not directed toward anyone in particular, but I'm enraged at the devil. And I've prayed long and hard before this. I don't want these words to offend, and I don't want them to simply be an emotional outburst. I want these words to be those which God gives to me, and I feel He would want me to put in here. I want these words to be hope, encouragement, and a charge to my Christian brothers and sisters. Thank you for understanding all of this before I dive in...

So, enough suspense. Today I found out that a teacher at my high school has been fired due to allegations that he's been involved in a sexual abuse scandal with a student. Again, if you want names then do your own research, I'm not here to humiliate. This is a tragic blow to many people in my community, and deeply affects many of my friends. There's no cushion for the blow, no sugar to make it any sweeter. Allegations that a male teacher messed around with a male student, consensual or not, who really cares. It's easy to say "die, pervert!" when it's someone you don't know. I know this man. Big family, all went and were involved in my high school. This shouldn't happen to a man in this situation...something is WRONG here.

Well, I'm only going to get sleep tonight by the Lord's grace, because this enrages me. And strangely, I'm not angry at the teacher. I'm not angry at the student. I'm not even angry about the act itself. There is one person that's behind all of this. We know him as Lucifer. Satan. The devil. And I'm absolutely furious at him, as we all should be. I know a lot of us are looking for answers in this, and frankly I'm surprised that I'm not being led to angrily seek answers to all of this. We can be angry with God, wondering why did this happen...why him...why this school...why??? Folks, God is not responsible for choices that we make. I believe that while God is the divine orchestrator, we are given free will to make choices, because I believe that God is pleased more when we freely choose to worship Him. We always throw "God's Will" around like a ragdoll so much that it's barely defined anymore. We can say that a person is "in God's Will" or "outside of God's Will"...this implies choice, does it not? Unless God deliberately creates a being to be outside of His Will, which isn't compatible with his omnibenevolent nature. We're big boys and girls, and we make decisions that either bring glory to God, or don't bring Him glory. This incident is just another such decision.

James 2:10 - "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all." A little boy at AWANA read me this verse tonight as he was reciting his Scripture memorization. This verse caught my attention in the context of this situation, and it's perhaps the reason that "the act" itself doesn't enrage me like it used to. See, I used to be quite the homophobe. Homosexuality still disgusts me, but that's my deal. And don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not FOR the act that went on, God forbid! But listen to my point...we've all heard the term "hate the sin, love the sinner". This is essential right now. To my high school friends and faculty that may be reading, has your perception of this man changed now that this is out in the light? DON'T LET IT!!!!! The school made the right move by firing him from his position, but the school and church cannot turn their backs to him. Go back to my "about me" page, and read about how pornography had me trapped for 7 years...that's almost longer than I can even remember. We are not DEFINED by actions we take, we are defined by how God SAYS we're defined. I'm not defined by 1/3 of my life wasted to that demon, nor is a man defined by sexual actions taken improperly. Again, it's easier to cry "PERVERT!" when it's not someone you know...fact is, everyone has a situation and a story. Who are we to judge? "Yeah, well you don't know he's truly a Christian or not!!" Yeah, I guess I don't, only God knows the heart (The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? - Jeremiah 17:9). I just know what James 2:10 says, and I know how we are all desperately in need to be led daily to the cross, where Jesus poured himself out. Remove the plank in your own eye before trying to help out the speck in the other's eye. To quote Mark Lowry, "How about I hate my sin, you hate your sin, and let's just love each other!"

Well, I said I wasn't looking for answers, but that's only a half-truth. There's only one answer I want...I want to know what's going to be done about this. And I don't mean from a legal standpoint. As I said previously...something is WRONG. Satan has played a mean hand, and has infiltrated my old stomping grounds, which I still consider a home away from home...and I'm straight up pissed off about it. Devastatingly, this isn't the first instance that I've heard about suspicious activity at my school since I graduated. From the outside looking in, it almost seems like my school is falling apart. Enrollment down, probably will decrease further after this, approximately 8 new high school english teachers since when I graduated 6 years ago. WHAT is going on?!?! Is this all just a freak coincidence? We can't take the risk of just letting this blow over again...something must change. Satan played a heavy hand and dealt a big blow to the school. I'm infuriated that he would invade on a godly institution and negatively impact so many lives. Right now, everyone reading this needs to pray. If for no other reason, then because I'm requesting it (Pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. - James 5:16). But more than this, something needs to be done. Still quoting from my favorite book of the Bible: "If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." - James 2:15-17. What good is prayer if we don't let it affect our hearts? Sometimes action needs to be taken. Perhaps the school needs that. "Now Christopher (full first name, since I'm sure most of my family will read this and speak with a slight scolding tone in their voice), you're being too radical. You need to be careful that you're not taken ill-advised action." And of course, we all should make wise decisions. I think my friend Scott said it well tonight, that we can't wedge ourselves into situations where we don't belong. And that's absolutely right. But AM I being too radical? Perhaps it's time to get a little loud. There is a problem, and we desperately need God to restore us. So maybe my blog can be a platform for encouraging those who ARE in the position to act. Perhaps revival is needed. Only God really knows what is needed, but we need help. The world is watching every move that we make, and shaking their heads at all Christians every time this happens. And I'm not going to sit around and watch as the entire world turns against us. Yes, there will always be those who resist God's glory, but we still owe it to them to bring them before the cross and pray on their behalf. And when the going gets tough, "He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength." - Isaiah 40:29. Right now, we're pretty faint, confused, frustrated, angry. Christians, ARMOR UP!!!! The war is real, and we're all in it. It IS life or death, and it DOES matter...we need to fight like it. Satan pushed us...I say we push back and refocus on our Christ.

As I said, I prayed long and hard before this note, hoping that it would be an encouragement and a challenge to us all. A lot of this I consider most of this post to be my opinion, and I could very well be wrong with my views. However, don't let that stop you from being convicted on the right path on which we should walk in this situation. God has seen everything that has gone on, and He is standing alongside of us through everything. And for those not tied in with my high school, this is for you too. Take this to mean something for your own life, and be convicted by it. Don't let my opinions influence you...but rather let the Holy Spirit convict you into action.

Psalm 31:7 - I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, Because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul.

Winning life's battles

So here's something that popped into in head tonight: winning. As I've said and as almost everyone knows about me, I'm pretty hyper-competitive, and I like to win. Ok, gross understatement...I despise losing. I'm competitive with pretty much everything I do, whether it's sports or video games or board games. Even air hockey. Seriously, challenge me at air hockey, I DARE you...you'll lose (Nate Nichols, don't say a WORD, haha). But when I think about these, none of it really "matters" if I win or lose. Sure, you can play for a trophy or money, or even just glory. But in a sense, none of this really matters, per se. What are the battles that are actually worth winning? Well...

I'll be honest, I'm never really sure where to start with some of these notes. Most of them are pretty spontaneous, and this one's no different. But, I'll start with an excerpt from our Sunday School lesson today. We've been doing a series on Jesus' parables for the past, like...forever. And today we studied the parable of the lost sheep, found in Luke 15:1-7. The parable is that a shepherd has 100 sheep, and one of them goes astray. The shepherd leaves the 99 to go find the one that went missing. Upon finding it, he rejoices and slings the little guy over his shoulder and brings it back to the rest of the flock. Jesus used this parable in defense of his ministry, when being accused of dining with "undesirable folk" by the religious Pharisees of the day. Jesus responds in verse 7 by saying, "I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." In other words, God's already happy that there are 99 saved people, but MAN does he rejoice over just ONE new person that comes to know Him!!!

Now this is a battle worth fighting. And everything we do should tie into this in some way. Well, I have another battle to mention, and one that is almost always on the forefront of my mind. And granted, I'm writing this from strictly a male perspective, so ladies bear with me through it. But I'm talking about the battle for a woman's heart. I've never truly experienced it, but it must be the greatest feeling in the world to win that battle. One of my favorite quotes from my favorite book (Wild at Heart) is "Nothing worth having comes without some sort of fight" - Bruce Cockburn. I believe the heart of a woman is a treasure, and should be treated as one would treat the hope diamond, with gentleness and care. And it should be guarded with strength and a sense of security. Think about it...ask a lady what they value in a man or husband. I can pretty much guarantee most women would say that one of their values is safety. When they're with their husband/boyfriend, they feel safe. And I believe that's how it should me. Quoting Demi Moore in A Few Good Men when asked why she respected Marines, "Because they stand on a wall. And they say 'Nothin's gonna hurt you tonight. Not on my watch'". If only this could be the motto of all men...nothing's gonna hurt you tonight, not on my watch.

But what happens when the woman's heart is won? Is that...it? No more battling, no more struggle? Yep, slapped a ring on her finger, things should be easy now...now be a good girl and make me a sammich. Oh, to break the jaw of the man that says that. A woman's heart deserves to be won every day, there's no quitting! I see husbands all the time that just seem so passive and careless in regards to their lady...whatever happened to us? So when the "love" fades, then what? One thing that I really hate is divorce, and I know God hates it more. God hates it because *gasp* He's been through it! Israel is his bride...how many times did Israel leave His care to go worship a piece of wood shaped like a goat? And how many times do WE leave His care to go do the same thing? Oops. But divorce is forbidden. Think about it..."for this reason, a man will leave his mother and father, and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." One flesh. Not literal, obviously, but they are now one unit. It's ridiculous to think that one flesh can become two fleshes again, it just doesn't work. No, if you're married and things are bad, you work at it. Love isn't a feeling, it's a job, and some have it harder than others. But when a relationship is on the rocks, and the husband and wife battle together to work through it, ah what a beautiful sight it is.

And like I said before, I never know where to start with these posts and I never know where they're going to go. So bringing it back, there's the battle of the woman's heart, and the battle of bringing others to Christ...now how do we win? Well, this whole thing all came after I read a quote from Desire by John Eldredge. "The time has come for us to quite playing chess with God over our lives. We cannot win, but we can delay the victory, dragging on the pain of grasping and the poison of possessing. You see, there are two kinds of losses in life. The first is shared by all mankind - the losses that come to us. Call them what you will - accidents, fate, acts of God. The point is that we have no control over them. We do not determine when, where, what, or even how. There is no predictin these losses; they happen to us. We choose only how we respond. The second kind is known only to the pilgrim. The are losses that we choose. A chosen loss if different from repentance, when we give up something that was never ours to have. With a chosen loss, we place on the altar something very dear to us, something innocent, whose only danger is in its goodness, that we might come to love it too much. It is the act of consecration, where little by little or all at once, we give over our lives to the only One who can truly keep them." So wait...losing? Yep, surrender. That's how these battles are won. How are others won to Christ? Well, not in our power. We're not the ones who do the saving, since we need just as much to be saved. The Holy Spirit is the only thing that convicts others to come to God. I have plenty of people I'm thinking of right now that I would love to see in a better place in their lives. The best I can do is tell them what I believe and live a God-honoring life...I can't save them. So to Christians, keep planting seeds, let God do the harvesting.

And the battle for a woman's heart...I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't one I had my eyes on. And I am certainly taking a shot of my own advice through this note. But there's only one way to win a battle like that. Pastor Crews said it best this morning when talking about marriages, that God's blueprint of marriage isn't one party submitting to the other, but when the husband and wife go hand-in-hand together in submission to God. I know God knows the desires of my heart, but there's another encouraging section from Desire: "True surrender is not an easy out, calling it quits early in the game. This kind of surrender comes only after the night of wrestling. It comes only after we open our hearts to care deeply. Then we choose to surrender, or give over, our deepest desires to God. And with them we give over our hearts, our deepest selves. The freedom and beauty and rest that follow are among the greatest of all surprises." Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. - Matthew 11:29.

I didn't want this to turn into a story of my own battle, but this is the main point I'm trying to make. The main battle on my mind is that of the lady's heart, but everyone else has different of life's battles that they're trying to win. Surrendering to God is the only way to win. He's more capable of handling all of our problems. Read through pretty much any of the Psalms, they're chock full of praises of God's love and strength. "But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, long suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth." - Psalm 86:15. "For thou art great, and doest wondrous things: thou art God alone." - verse 10 of that same chapter. And I've heard it said that people don't want to pray because they feel some sense of guilt with coming to God with petty problems. Well, in Hebrews 4:15-16, the writer says "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." God wants us to surrender ALL, because He can handle it and WANTS to handle it! The rest that follows is pretty amazing. Tonight I'll be praying for those in all sorts of battles, as I'll be praying for my own. But we have to take our own action too. Friends, surrender to God. I've done it before, and it hurts. But the things I regret are the things I continue to try to hold on to, rather than surrendering. Pray to God, and from one desperate sinner to another, surrender that which is most valuable to you to God.