Reflections and challenges on the Eve #3

Merry Christmas everyone! This is my third year doing my Christmas Eve post, so please enjoy reading!

My thought actually came a few weeks ago. It's simply this: Do we recognize Jesus? "Well sure we do...He's that little porcelain baby on my coffee table." We recognize Christmas as a celebration not of commercialism but of Christ's birth. Even non-believers get annoyed at the crazy commercialism of Christmas and recognize that there is something more to this holiday (Why are churches packed on Christmas Eve?). But do we really see Jesus for who He is and was? Do we decorate Him in lights? Do we act like Him? We have some work to do...

Last night in church, 4 people came up to the podium and gave their life testimonies, people from different stages of life. Our senior pastor also gave a quick testimony, saying "I've always thought myself as...average. I'm not incredibly athletic, not incredibly smart or good-looking, I'm just, average." But he used this to say that the angels that came to announce Jesus did not come to kings. They didn't come to high-ranking members of society. They came to shepherds. They came to these outcast, dirty, average, shepherds. Why is this important?

Imagine the scene where Jesus was. Here is Joseph and his 14-year old wife in labor with a child not of his blood. The two of them are likely staying with Joseph's family in Bethlehem, since they had to go back for Caesar's decreed census (Luke 2:1). Now multiple translations in verse 7 use the word "inn". I really have no idea why inn was used, but it paints a different picture in our American minds. The greek here is "kataluma" which is more accurate to mean "guest quarters". Most Jewish houses had guest quarters that were separate from the main rooms of the house, and with everyone returning to Bethlehem for census, it's easy to see why the house would be packed initially. So Mary goes out to the guest area where all the animals also sleep (hence the animals at nativity) and gives birth there. And of course Mary needs a crib of some kind or somewhere to lay Jesus...oh look, a feeding trough! And there lay Jesus. Eventually the shepherds came and the magi came to present their gifts. But even though the magi, these men of high position, came with gift of gold and myrrh and incense, my point is this: Jesus' birth was HUMBLE.

The point of this post is highlighted in the following verse. Matthew 11:29 - "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." I asked earlier if we truly recognize Jesus. When the true picture of Jesus' birth is painted, Brandon Heath's song Jesus In Disguise comes to mind: "Jesus in disguise, a scar across the sky. You were looking for a king you would never recognize." When we read the Christmas story, we as Americans tend to "Americanize" and "Hollywood" the real Christmas story. Why? Why can't we accept the birth of Christ as is? Well, because we're looking for a king we wouldn't recognize. We prefer the Revelation version of Jesus...the one who comes with an iron fist and pounds Satan to a pulp before sending him to the lake of fire. We don't recognize the one who came humbly, lived humbly, and used love as his main weapon. Take away the Bible from our minds just for a second, and imagine that we don't know Jesus. What is our first thought when we see this man have dinner with prostitutes? What do we think when we see him visiting disease-ridden lepers, the outcasts of society, the men that no one wants to be bothered with? My first thought would probably be "Ew." Think if we were members of our middle-class society, which we mostly are, and saw a 14-year old girl get pregnant to a respected elder in our church, unmarried. Christians AND non-Christians, isn't our snap reaction to judge them first? Mary, you whore. Way to knock her up, Joseph. News flash...through all of the jeers of society, that's how our king was born. Not in a royal palace, but in a feeding trough. He didn't dine with kings, he dined with the hated members of society. I'm not exempt from all of this...I've visited a homeless shelter all of once in my entire life, on a required field trip at school to sing Christmas carols and give gifts. I'm sitting comfortably in my apartment, I've shelled out about $500 on Christmas gifts this season, and not a dime of it went to feed someone hungry or homeless. Do I recognize Jesus?

Christmas is one day per year, and we have 364 days until the next one. The "Christmas spirit" will certainly fade as it always does, but we need to have the hearts to love others, because we're no better than the "outcasts". There was one other testimony in our Christmas eve service that was especially driving but I didn't get a chance to share it here. The man who gave his testimony spoke with a very business-like tone, was somewhere around 30-35, was in a full business suit, and opened with a very driving statement which is what I close with:

"Hey you. Yeah, you with the smart phone. Put down your game of solitaire for a second and listen to what I have to say. I didn't want to be up here, but I'm here. And certainly you can take a break for just a few minutes to listen to me. And I say this to you, because I AM you. Whatever list of sins you have, mine are worse."

Everyone, let's lead the example of Jesus. Whether it's family, friends, or complete strangers, love others and love God. Merry Christmas everyone...this day our Savior is born!

#IWILL

Often, companies (or just people) will put out motivational sayings; little quips to keep us going through whatever trial we find ourselves in. #IWILL is Under Armour's current motivational campaign. On their website, they have a few quotes and pictures of athletes doing some crazy things. One quote on the site is from Julio Jones, wide receiver for the Atlanta Falcons, "When the ball's in the air, nobody brings it down but me. #IWILL". Another is from Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, "Every single day, you have to have a relentless will to be something greater than what you are. #IWILL". Last is from my favorite running back in the NFL, Houston Texans running back Arian Foster, "I mentally push myself through so much pain that, by gametime, it's second nature. #IWILL".

#IWILL has become a slogan for my own life recently, even though I haven't necessarily lived it every day. #IWILL is a very sincere callout to anyone who chooses to accept it. The life that we live is tough, and being a Christian sometimes makes this life even tougher. As a Christian, people around me will judge me because I choose not to party and get drunk. As a Christian, I believe in absolute right and absolute wrong, which makes me have to resist what we refer to as "sin". Now, I have an eternal joy and an eternal hope ("But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life." - John 4:14). I have the hope that I will enter heaven, be given a new body, and will experience the beauty and power of God to the fullest degree. That's my hope. But I live in a backwards world where hope is laughable, and happiness is sometimes hard to come by. So how do we still maintain the mindset of joy in this fallen world? How do we continue to live in a world that we KNOW is going to laugh at us for having hope? Read the title again.

I WILL do this. I WILL love others. I WILL worship my God. I WILL. It's a challenge to everyone, but it's a challenge especially to me as a man of God. I'm reminded of the long quote at the end of Courageous: "You don't have to ask who will guide my family, because by God's grace, I will. You don't have to ask who will teach my son to follow Christ, because I will. Who will accept the responsibility of providing and protecting my family? I will. Who will ask God to break the chain of destructive patterns in my family's history? I will. Who will pray for, and bless my children to boldly pursue whatever God calls them to do? I am their father. I WILL!" Any man of God should have the cry of "I will" in their life. Sanctus Real's song "Lead Me" is chock full of the passionate cries of "I will". A wife calling her husband out to lead, his children calling him out to lead and be their hero, and the husband crying out to God and begging for the strength to lead them. I have my own battles to fight. I have a girlfriend who calls me out every day to be the spiritual leader of our relationship, and that is not something I can afford to take lightly.

Truth be told, I've been working on this blogpost for awhile. In fact, the last time I wrote on this specific post was about 2 months ago. #IWILL...do it later, I suppose. In fact, I still have 3 other blogposts that are waiting to be finished just because I apparently don't have the drive to finish them up. But this relates well to the warning that goes along with this whole thought, and one thing that we have to gracefully accept. #IWILL...fail. We live in this fallen world where nothing is perfect. No matter how much drive we shove into an activity, we'll always fall short if we're not striving toward the correct goal. Listen to Ecclesiastes 2:22-23: "What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun? All their days their work is grief and pain; even at night their minds do not rest. This too is meaningless." Whoa. That's in the Bible?? The book of hope and joy?? Sure is...and the author? Unknown, but widely accepted as the wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon. So the wisest man in the Bible is saying that our toil, our work, is meaningless? Ecclesiastes 1:3, "What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?" However, throughout the book Solomon maintains a tone of sarcasm and pessimism, ultimately teaching us that all that we do is meaningless if we are not working for our Creator. Ecclesiastes 10:17-18, "Blessed is the land whose king is of noble birth and whose princes eat at a proper time—for strength and not for drunkenness. Through laziness, the rafters sag; because of idle hands, the house leaks." Solomon is telling us that all that we do is meaningless unless we purpose our actions for Christ.

But even though we purpose our actions for Christ, we will still fail, being fallible humans. And God knows it. God knows we will always be tempted, will always stray from Him, will always break His commandments and sin against Him. But Proverbs 24:16 states, "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief." Even a just man, a righteous man, will continue to fail. I consider myself a man of God and a born again Christian, but I will continue to fall. The question is not IF I will get back up; Proverbs states that I will. The question is HOW I will get up. People that try to simply pull themselves up by their bootstraps are just doomed to trip and fall on their face again. Trust me, I've tried it far too many times. The way to get back up is by saying "#IWILL trust You, God." We can't pull ourselves up...we've been trying it since Adam's bite of fruit in Genesis 3. We need God. We need His love, we need His power, and darn it we just need to worship Him for all that He is and all He can do for us. But we have to do our part. God's not going to open the Bible, glue our butts to a seat and shove our nose in the book until we read it cover to cover. This is where we have to push ourselves. I've used this excerpt before, but this from the life of Winston Churchill: "A professional author said to [him] that he couldn't write unless the 'mood' came on him. The great statesman replied: 'NO! Shut yourself in your study from nine to one and make yourself write. Prod yourself! Kick yourself! It's the only way.'" God's going to meet us where we're at, but we have to meet Him too.

Everyone has something that is standing in their way of something they want. So get up and go get it! Myself, I've been missing a deep connection with God for awhile now. To say I haven't really prayed recently or even read my Bible in awhile would be an overstatement. But #IWILL. If I were to add a small slogan to add to Under Armour's website, here's what it would be at this stage of my life:

I have goals to achieve, I have a beautiful girl whose heart I need to fight for every day, and I have a mission from God. This is mine to bear, and I won't let anyone take my God-given duties. #IWILL

A biblical exploration of stress

What do you do when you don't know where else to turn?

Stress. Does anyone ACTUALLY want stress? Of course not. But, stress happens. It's a fact of life and of the world we live in. Family, relationships, friends, jobs, other responsibilities and circumstances...the world we live in can get pretty overwhelming. We're sitting here sometimes even in pain of stress, and we don't know how to handle it. So I have three questions to ask that need a true biblical answer. Why do we get stressed? Who do we rely on? How do we beat it? Having an answer to these would certainly help with living in this crazy world. So let's dive in.

First question: Why do we get stressed? As usual, I provide my own life for example. I've been a Christian for about 13 years now (holy crap...that's crazy). My Christian life has been a pretty big roller coaster of spiritual ups and downs. 6th grade through 11th grade I was never living for the Lord with my passionate heart. A retreat changed me in 12th grade and I got on fire for God. Went through freshman and sophomore years in college on a small decline. Got through fall of junior year just fine. Then, spring semester of junior year happened...possibly the most awful time in my life. I don't even know how I got the way I did. Requirements for my 5 classes stressed me beyond belief. I'd say no to activities, I'd pull all-nighters and crazy long work days, and I just wasn't healthy. My parents were worried that my mindset was suicidal. My girlfriend at the time even said it had been a month since she had seen me smile. I even remember one night where Bill was scared to come in the bedroom because of my demeanor and the music I was listening to (Korn, Disturbed, Linkin Park, etc). So WHY was I so stressed? I ran out of time to do things. My life became work and the commitments around me. I shoved God to the side...I didn't have time for Him. So I shouldered the load and look where it got me, into the darkest pit of my life. And for what? So I could meet a college deadline? And how much of that really matters in the light of eternity? The stress and the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel" just isn't worth it. "Oh, I'll have more time to enjoy life once THIS is out of my hair". News flash, boys and girls...there's always going to be something in life trying to steal our time.

So the answer to why we get stressed is simply because we let Satan let us get stressed. But, but...family crap! And job stuff! Stop it. "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." - 1 Peter 5:8. Could we maybe say that stresses could also be referred to as temptations? You see, there's something interesting about Jesus' life. Through all the memoirs that are the Gospels, they provide pretty good detail about the stresses/temptations of his life. Starting in Matthew 4 when he wandered through the wilderness and fasted for 40 days, and let me stop there for a second. Fasting for 40 days?! Not eating for a month and a half?! The Bible doesn't articulate EXACTLY what he did, but 40 days of that would literally be some kind of hell on earth. Yet Jesus was peaceful. He was led by the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted/tested by Satan. And he responded to Satan and drove him away. Moving forward to Gethsemane, where Luke 22:44 says "And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground". Jesus knew he was about to be crucified, and a man not turning to God would completely shatter under this stress. Not the Lord. Jesus was not going to let Satan be a part of this scene. We always refer to Matthew 4 as Jesus' temptation. What we fail to realize is how much Jesus was tempted beyond that. This scene was a temptation. Jesus could have panicked and fled for the hills. But he knelt down, turned his eyes to the heavens, and the man sweat blood in his prayer. Did God reward him? Not necessarily. See, Jesus' circumstances didn't change, but his focus was on the Father. Jesus was stressed, but his soul was at peace.

Next question: Who do we rely on? I would answer it with one word, but that's no fun. So again from my own life. Junior year of college, I relied on myself. Even in team projects, which ended up being a total mess that year, I took a large part of the projects on myself and I ended up a mess. I was so stressed and couldn't handle it that I even threw up from the stress. It was absolutely awful. And again...for what? That semester weighs nothing on eternity. And now I have that memory instead of an enjoyable one. We can rely on others, but we all fail each other from day to day. No one has it all together, no matter how much it looks. I know people that I almost idolized at one point or another. They seemed to be living a great and happy life, they were great role models, people respected them, and everything looked great. Then I learned about things they struggled with. They sometimes even beat out my own stressful experiences. As the famous song says "we all need somebody to lean on". And we SHOULD lean on others; God made us relational beings. But we can never put the entirety of our faith in another person, or we'll end up in the pit I was in.

So the one-word answer to who we rely on is, of course, God. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7. "The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." - Isaiah 58:11. "For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:32-34. It's everywhere in the Bible. "Do not fear." "Do not worry." It's been said that there are 365 "fear nots" in the Bible. I've never looked for myself, but I know there are plenty to hold you over. And I know it's dangerous to take verses out of their original context. But put these verses back in their original context, and you'll see exactly what kinds of stresses these people were in. They likely outweigh your stresses. Rely on God first, He's made promises that He will keep.

The last question feels to me that it's been answered: how do we beat it? How did Jesus beat Satan in Matthew 4? How did Jesus beat Satan in Luke 22? He quoted Scripture. He prayed. He was completely in tune with Headquarters, completely immersed in the will of His Father. And that's how we beat this. We read. We pray. We seek God and grow close to Him as He grows close to us. As Jeremy Camp sings, "Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you. He's near to the broken and confused. By His stripes, our spirit is renewed. So enter in the joy prepared for you." - Healing Hand of God. And Jesus says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30. "Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber...very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep...the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:1,6,10.

One last thing. Jesus came to give us life more abundantly, and to the full. But we're in this life full of stresses and ridiculousness. Yet God made the promise "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13. So I made the argument that these stresses and temptations come from Satan, and not God ("When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone" - James 1:13). But tell me this. How is a diamond, either natural or synthetic, formed? The answer is that we take pure carbon (found in common graphite a.k.a. pencil lead), subject it to INTENSE heat and pressurization, bring it to a very quick cooling stage, and voila, a diamond. So...feeling the heat of life? Feeling pressured? Look to the heavens for a moment...God might be trying to do something with you. God always has a purpose for every moment of your life. Diamonds are flawless, and that's what God is trying to make us. We just have to seek Him first. And don't take any of this from me, I'm just another flawed and stressed human being. Take it from the perfect Word that God gave to us. He won't fail you, you just have to come to the surface and let Him cool you off.

What do you do when you don't know where else to turn? Let God make you into a diamond. Trust Him.

Why I Love Lightning

Because a Facebook status simply doesn't suffice! :)

What brings you closer to God? I'm sure a lot of things do. Reading the Bible. Praying. Doing good works. Even tragedies. Losing loved ones. Going through trials. The list can go on. But for me, it's lightning storms. Obviously, almost everyone enjoys beautiful, sunshiney weather. Rewarding work can be done outside, games can be played (especially baseball), and many other things. Others enjoy rain, just from the peacefulness that it brings as it flies through leaves on a tree. And you haven't lived until you've heard that rain falling on a tin roof. Still others enjoy snow. Peaceful, undisturbed snow is one of God's greatest beauties here on earth. As for me, I honestly don't care too much for rain or snow. I don't make it a secret that I'm a boy of the summer and I enjoy the sunshine. But at the end of a sunshiney day, I'd trade it away just to sit on a porch and watch God show off through a lightning storm.

Tonight I was at Sarah's place for awhile, and was leaving just as lightning started flashing and rolling thunder could be heard in the distance. Once I realized that storm was in the direction of my apartment, I FLEW home...of course, not before getting stuck behind the slowest of drivers. But anyway. I know some people can get scared of thunderstorms. Some don't like the loud bangs, yeah I get that. I know even others that had traumatic experiences with lightning...one of my childhood friends had lightning hit their chimney. And it's rare, but people die from lightning strikes too. But nonetheless, I haven't been traumatized and loud thunderclaps don't bother me. I LOVE thunderstorms! So I got home and began my thunderstorm tradition. I got my phone out and queued up Revelation Song by Phillips Craig & Dean. I ran into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of red wine...ONLY red wine will do, white wine simply doesn't suffice. I pulled up my chair on my porch, started playing the song on repeat, had a sip here and there, and just sat and watched.

Now I get excited during thunderstorms because, like I said, I like to watch God show off. Tonight was different. God wasn't just showing off. God was SHOWING OFF! Tonight these weren't just low rumblings and occasional white lights across the sky. These were bolts flying from the heavens down to earth. I remember seeing one that was so bright, it burned onto my retina for about 5 minutes. Every time I blinked, I could see the outline of this staggered bolt of glory. Wow. And just when I think the show was coming to a close...BANG! A huge claw-shaped bolt touches down and sends a huge crack through the sky. Those were the two that I remember most, and man were they beautiful.

Why do I love lightning storms so much? Well, I originally asked what brings us closer to God? To me, lightning storms are such a clear and tangible indication that God is here. So often we get the feeling that God is so distant and we can't connect with Him, so whenever I see lightning I rush out to meet Him there. I wrote something similar about this in the past, and I quoted Psalm 29:3, "The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the Lord thunders over the mighty waters." Every time I heard that thunderclap, God was saying "Here I am." It leaves me awestruck because of how big God is. A thunderclap isn't something that seems to come from the east or west, THIS direction or THAT direction, but it surrounds you. It's all around you. Whenever I hear that sound, I feel my eyes scan the entire sky because God is EVERYWHERE! Occasionally I would just close my eyes and let my other senses take everything in. These crazy thunderclaps would send chills down my spine and make goosebumps rise up instantly. Even a cold rain came and pelted me for a little while on my porch. The music truly added to it though. I have three favorite songs from Phillips Craig and Dean, "Revelation Song", "Great I Am", and "When the Stars Burn Down". I like them so much because they are beautiful, but they also have an eerie sense to them. I feel like these would be songs played as I'm approaching the throne of God. "Holy holy holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come" - Revelation Song. "Hallelujah, holy holy, God Almighty, the Great I Am. Who is worthy? None beside thee. God Almighty, the Great I Am" - Great I Am. "Blessing and honor and glory and power forever to our God" - When the Stars Burn Down. All of this just adds to an extraordinary experience.

Tonight I found myself quoting Jeremiah 32:17, "Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee." In this crazy life we live, I'm glad God gives us reminders that He's still here with us. God still has time for us as individuals and cares for us to our heart's deepest level, even while He roars just a small portion of His power through all of His creation. This is a truly awesome God we serve.

Like I said, a Facebook status simply doesn't suffice. I'm so thankful for the various things that God uses to bring us closer to His glory. We don't deserve that. We don't deserve to be anywhere near His glory, not in the sinful state that we're in. Even Christians go through life sometimes and forget to care about our relationship with God. It seems like a shame that God has to remind us so often just what a great God He is. But we're not perfect, He knows that. There's only one perfect being, and He's real. And thunderstorms may not bring you closer to God like they do with me, and you may not like thunderstorms at all. That's fine. I don't like spiders, but I have to remember that God created them, so they are good. Just remember that God is in thunderstorms and speaking through them. Don't be afraid to listen and I promise there is a wonderful experience to be had by witnessing just the smallest percentage of God's awesome beauty and power. And whatever brings you closer to God, find it and worship Him through it.

"The LORD also thundered in the heavens, and the Highest gave his voice; hail stones and coals of fire. Yea, he sent out his arrows, and scattered them; and he shot out lightnings, and discomfited them." - Psalm 18:13-14

"O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder consider all the worlds Thy hands have made, I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy power throughout the universe displayed! Then sings my soul, my savior God to Thee, How great Thou art, How great Thou art!" - How Great Thou Art (my 2nd favorite hymn)

Will you take me as I am?

Ever have that thought that keeps you up at night and won't let you go to sleep? That's why I'm here right now.

The thought on my mind has to do with sin and forgiveness. Recently I've been struggling with something. A friend of mine committed a sin...it's a pretty blatant sin if we're defining it biblically, which is how we define sin anyway. The thing that has been bugging me about it is that no one really seems to care or take it too seriously. I've talked to a few friends about it and have mostly been getting a "eh, whatever" reaction. Because I feel dumbfounded about it, I do what I do best...I get frustrated about it. So I've been struggling for awhile with this and tonight God reached me and gave me a beautiful thought.

First of all, sin is sin. Murder, rape, lying, stealing, it's sin and it's breaking God's law, causing a rift in our holy relationship. "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all" - James 2:10. But because of these circumstances surrounding the sin of my friend, I gave into temptation as well and also sinned. My sin was judgment, lack of forgiveness and compassion, pride, anger, among other things I'm sure. Even though all sins separate us from God, we still "rank" them. Murder is worse than lying, rape is worse than stealing, and so on. I don't know if that's right or wrong, but that's not what I want to focus on. My sin separated me from God as much as my friend's sin did. My friend's sin is ranked high on my "list" of sins, which is why I became angry.

Did I do much to help the situation? No, not really. I was frustrated and I let that affect me and others. But God led me to a song that I've been listening to all night: "Take Me As I Am" by Lecrae. I'm not even joking when I say that every syllable of every word in this song is convicting to me. The chorus can sum it up: "Will You take me as I am? / I know the way I'm livin' is wrong / I wonder, how could You love me when my life's so ugly / but You came down and died for me / Will you take me as I am?" That, along with the end of the first verse: "I thought at first I had to clean up my life / Now I'm hearin' I just need to cling to the light / I'm ready to do it, but Lord I pray you understand, / My life is a mess. Will you take me as I am?" This song is incredibly powerful. It shows the desperate and depraved state that we're in and that we can do nothing to bring ourselves out of it. Shamed, we avoid God, thinking we have to somehow try to make ourselves pure before entering His presence. Isaiah certainly thought so. "Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts." - Isaiah 6:5. Adam certainly thought so too. "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself." - Genesis 3:10. They experienced shame because of the state that they were in. But God answers: "Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar: And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged." - Isaiah 6:6-7. He answers again: "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." - Hebrews 4:16. Because of the love of God, we're now free to enter into His presence, which is exactly what God wants. He wants us to love Him and be close to Him. Unashamed, for all is forgiven.

The song, the verses. What is God saying? "Alright. I'm done with it! It's in the past. We're forgetting about it. We're moving on. We've dealt with it." That's what God is saying through these words. We had a guest evangelist at my church last Sunday who told us to "have a funeral" for our sins. We are alive in Christ and dead to sin, therefore we can bury our sin six feet under...not forgetting it, but learning from it and forsaking it.

And if God is up somewhere in the heavens forgiving sins and moving on...shouldn't I do the same? Why should I sit here and continue to judge and be frustrated? Surely my sins aren't any better or worse than someone else's, especially with this plank in my eye as Jesus says I have. That doesn't necessarily mean I should flat-out ignore it when someone sins. That's not helping them grow closer to God. Sins should be addressed and discussed biblically, and work put in to avoid the sin in the future. But if it is dealt with and repentance is gained, that should be the end of it. A true definition of forgive and forget.

I'm certainly not saying I have an all-wise handle on this (especially at 2:16am, current time). But no matter what sin we commit, we can always come to God with it and He will take us just as we are because He sees us at the heart and loves us. We're not defined by the sin we commit...we are defined by exactly what God tells us we are. My definition is White Knight because God told me that's what I am. But even the strongest of Christ's warriors sin on a daily basis. And in light of this, Colossians 3:12-13 states "Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." I'm so glad for this message from God. Since God takes us just as we are, we should take our brother and sister just as they are. Not judgmental, not angry, but with all that Colossians states. My friends, I screw up on a daily basis, and if I'm your friend I will let each and every one of you down because I am imperfect. Will you please take me as I am, and ask me to do the same for you just as God does for us?

It's been a while...

Oh, it certainly HAS been a while. 2013 has been an utter failure for me thus far with writing! 3 1/2 months without a new post?! For shame! But here I am with plenty of updates, and to be honest I'm not entirely sure what I want to write about. But God will do as God always does...He will use what is written here to bring glory to His Kingdom. So frankly it doesn't even matter what I write. My purpose is to glorify God with whatever is written, so it will be what God wills it to be. So here I am with nothing but the Spirit and a glass of chamomile tea at my disposal. Thanks to all who read...be blessed, friend!

Well it certainly seems strange that almost 1/3 of 2013 has flown by already. Highlighted by God leading me to my wonderful and amazing girlfriend Sarah, I've officially become a member of a church for the first time in my life, have gone to Kansas on a business trip, magically contracted mono (and have beaten it, thank God), and started assistant coaching for baseball at my high school. It's already been a whirlwind...awake at 5:45 on most days to either go to the gym or start work now that baseball season started, active until 5, generally have plans after that, and I'm home sometime after 8:00 at night. Then I go to bed and do it all over again! It's been exhausting but rewarding.

I guess all this busy schedule has had me exhausted to the point where I would have a cool theological thought earlier in the day, but would either be too busy or too exhausted to write about it later. Which is strange since most of my writings occur at dark o'clock in the morning anyway. But I guess I'm getting old or something...I normally can't stay up past 12 without my eyelids snapping shut. You definitely get old after college, that's for sure.

But enough about my updates...that's not why I keep this blog. I generally just spill my guts in hopes that someone can learn from either my good decisions or my mistakes, and I certainly have plenty of mistakes to learn from. I was thinking about one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books, The Disciplined Life. It goes like this: "It is reported that when a professional author said to Sir Winston Churchill that he couldn't write unless the "mood" cam on him, the great statesman replied: 'No! Shut yourself in your study from nine to one and make yourself write. Prod yourself!-kick yourself!-it's the only way.'" This quote comes in a section entitled "Priorities", and in a chapter entitled "Discipline the Mark of Maturity". See, I was thinking tonight of why I haven't written in so long. Why haven't I sat down just to write what God was laying on my mind? Why am I even writing now that I don't have a specific thought to write about? I wrote a blogpost about 2 years ago entitled "Avoiding Mediocrity". I find it profound just for myself, because I can look back on my own life and get a better understanding of what I'm going through now. In it, I said the quote "...I know what happens when I become mediocre. I fall into old sins that consume me and often seem impossible to beat." And this is true. I look back and think, "Well I generally struggle with sexual sins and anger. Um...I THINK I'm doing okay? I mean I don't see any issues." This is common when dealing with mediocrity and apathy. "Eh, everything looks fine. No big deal. I mean yeah I mess up now and then, but nobody's perfect. Oh well." But then I took another look. I have quite a few people that can attest to this, but work has been getting to me lately. I've been getting frustrated with callers, talking short to them, muting the phone and saying what I want before unmuting the phone. C'mon...that's not me. But it is when I become mediocre and just stop caring. Something's wrong here...

My "life verse", if you will, is Proverbs 15:9, "The LORD detests the way of the wicked, but he loves those who pursue righteousness." I've talked about this before...but my favorite word in this verse is the word "pursue". What happens when you're in pursuit of something? Do you not go headlong into trying to get what you're pursuing? Do you not develop some kind of strategy and proceed step-by-step until you have what you want? Men, think about pursuing a girl you like. The proper way, mind you...if you're just trying to get into someone's pants then you're a shell of a man and need help. But when you want a relationship with a girl, you figure out "Ok, how can I get her? I need to find out what she likes, come up with a few icebreakers, work up some courage to actually ask her out..." And so on. Fun fact, I wanted to pursue a relationship with Sarah, but I almost didn't. She lives in Maryland and I live in Pennsylvania...I just didn't see it working. But then my friends convinced me to break the ice anyway, and at the risk of sounding fruity, it's been nothing but magical ever since that. The point being, I wanted her, so I pursued her. It would've been easy for me to just try to forget about her and move along, wading through my pool of mediocrity. I wanted her...but I was going to give up? That's not a pursuit! No, I invested my time, effort, and prayer time, and wouldn't stop until I had her. That doesn't sound like mediocrity. And hopefully I'm not leading you too off-course...this isn't Chris's "How to get a girlfriend 101" seminar. The objective is defining what pursuit looks like. Now go back to Proverbs 15:9. Who does the Lord love? Those that PURSUE RIGHTEOUSNESS! If we believe in God and in Jesus Christ, we want the Lord's love. The way to get to this is to pursue righteousness. What is righteousness? I'll leave that up to you to figure out...I would need a whole library of blogposts to give a proper biblical definition.

But I think the problem with many of us stuck in this is desensitization. Meaning, we don't even realize what we're stuck in, and we're fine with just coasting along. One of my current favorite songs matches this perfectly, and especially the music video for it. The song is The Proof of Your Love by For King & Country. The music video combined with the words of the song...if it doesn't hit your heart in some way, start praying for yourself. This song is incredibly powerful. But in the music video, they start off in a weird dungeon-like prison where they're gagged and earmuffed, and even have weird scales over their eyes so they're basically just walking zombies (like many people in the corporate environment or in bars, no?). In short, they're desensitized. It isn't until one boy sings, "So let my life be the proof, the proof of Your love" that the lead singer has the scales removed from his eyes and he begins singing as well. By singing, people are hearing and slowly coming to their senses again. At the end of the video, the two lead singers are in the middle of a circle of the "bad guys", but they continue to sing as all of the desensitized prisoners break out of the prison/dungeon. It is beyond powerful. The dungeon and the modes of desensitizing represent the bond that Satan tries, and sometimes succeeds, to force on us. When we're faced with times of mediocrity or apathy, we're under attack. Satan wants all Christians down for the count and will do anything to stop us. He'll make us lose hope, stop caring for others, get tired of it all, and just sit back and veg out. The bombing at the Boston Marathon just happened today, and I saw a friend's status about being desensitized to the depravity and tragedy all around us. He's right. We've stopped caring about tragedy. This event will cause many Christians to lose hope and put on a "why bother?" attitude. And look at the heroes of the day, those that put themselves in harm's way to respond quickly and tend to as many people as they could. Whether this event becomes media-blown or not, I don't care...it's a tragedy regardless and needs its due attention. Thinking about the singers in the video...they opened their mouths to spread Christ's love. They got hurt, beaten, and continued to sing.

But one of the most profound parts of the song is the spoken word part, where he quotes 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 from The Message: "If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." How many of us become mediocre and desensitized, and still try to play the Christian game? I know I do. I get tired, and then stop caring, but I'll still sing hymns in church without a second thought to how the prior week went. That's not how this works...and I can barely even look at myself in the mirror after writing that last sentence. I'm disgusted by it. Now what do we do about it? Proverbs 15:9. If you need to start loving again, PURSUE it. If you need to find God again, PURSUE Him. Do you have a broken relationship to repair? PURSUE it! Don't stop...pursue it. And when you think you're getting exhausted from pursuing, pray and BEG God for His Spirit to keep you going. Satan will attack, that's a guarantee. And we are positively foolish when we try to take demons on by ourselves. For (most) men, there's nothing manly or wise about trying to take a demon on alone. For (most) women, you're not troubling God with your request...He longs for your voice and your request and just wants to see you come to Him. And vice versa applies too...I'm sure women prefer to not let anyone in and try to take things on alone, and I'm sure some men feel guilty coming to God with such a request. God wants us. And when Satan attacks, we need to start screaming and run to God. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (emphasis added). He'll give us rest. "Don't worry, I got it," He says. When we take a demon on alone, we have every reason to be absolutely terrified. But when God is fighting on our behalf, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39. Nothing can stop us with God.

I said this in my previous post 2 years ago, "Mediocrity is a vicious devil, my friends. It isn't just a ho-hum life...it's fully embracing Satan's will for your life." 2 years later and that hasn't changed. We have to be on constant watch and have constant support from fellow Christians to make sure that we aren't being desensitized to this world. We have to endure tragedies, love passionately, serve faithfully, and pursue always. Pursuit isn't something you take a break from. Thank God for that. How else would we have a chance to be so close to God if we weren't violently pursuing righteousness? Pursue and don't stop. When you drop the scales from your eyes and take off the earmuffs, you'll realize your life depends on it.

I pray that what was written in the past 2 hours of my time is impactful. As I said before, God will use this how God intends, and I praise Him for that. He can do with this far more than I ever could on my own. And here's the music video I talked about. For your own sake, please open your heart for 4 1/2 minutes and watch it. This song brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. God bless you, friend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-2dKOfbC9c