Pillar devotional 2: I Fade Away

Title of song: I Fade Away
Link to song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwSMmaJnzLE
Lyrics to song: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pillar/ifadeaway.html
Message title: "A Joy in a Death"

A morbid title for my next message? I could see that interpretation, but that is not the intention at ALL. Ripping on a dead man is the worst thing I can imagine. Rather, this message is a dedication to my late friend, Jaren Hoover.

Jaren....where do I begin? I only really knew you for that one year I was at HCS in 8th grade. The last time I saw you was in the chocolate cafe on Linglestown Road. We didn't really talk, but just exchanged glances. Our dads both work at the courthouse, and are good friends from what I hear. I hope your dad can look to mine for strength if he needs it. But this one is between you and me.

I admit, 8th grade wasn't a great year for me, hence why I left after that year was done. You were definitely the popular kid of the grade. Even though we were in middle school, you still were friends with A LOT of the high schoolers. I found that rather amazing, and intimidating. From what I remember, you had your fair share of rips at me. I wasn't the popular kid, you were. That's the way it goes. Overall....I don't think we got along that well. At best, I would have called us "acquaintances".

But now I realized something....perhaps too late. I was wrong. Maybe I got laughed at, and maybe I wasn't the popular kid, but I shut other people out. Now it seems like a little too late to make amends.

Jaren, I mourn your death, but I dedicate this song to you because now you have given me joy. A part of the second verse says "I'm still reminded of the days when I turned my back on you and told you we should go our separate ways. Well, I was wrong for far too long." This is my admission that I was wrong in my ways. But now you have faded away from this earth....but I can take joy in this. Why? Two reasons. The first is that now you get to see what I can't right now: God face-to-face. The second is a little deeper than that, because through your death, you have done something that would never be done if you were alive. You made me remember you. But this isn't a one-time deal, because you'll stick with me in my mind no matter where I go. Whether I knew it or not, you had an impact on me. Obviously, you were much stronger than I was, and probably still are. I know I need to get back to weightlifting like I did in high school, and you've given me that boost. Whenever I'm in the weightroom now, I'll dedicate all my sessions to you, because you became my mentor in physical strength even in the just the past few hours. You're my brother Jaren, I'm sorry I turned my back on you. I won't make that mistake again. With a tear in my eye, I say "Rest in peace, my friend." I'll see ya when it's my turn to come up :)

Now, how about the people reading this? This song is obviously called "I Fade Away", and the message behind it is about fading away from God. Obviously, it's not a good thing. But apply this to all relationships....is there someone that you are fading away from? Don't let it happen. Every person you come in contact with is a new relationship. I had something told to me that made me feel really amazing recently. Over the summer, I worked with a few of my dad's friends from the courthouse at a landscaping job. I worked only two different times, and quit because my "boss" was having many problems with his life which I won't go into detail on...my point I wanted to make is that I only worked for the guy twice. The first time I worked, my dad's friend named Kevin was helping too. Kevin is a really great guy; he's probably in his late thirties, in top physical shape, and just a really pleasant guy to be around. I don't remember what all I talked about with him, but I don't remember any spiritual discussions, and I think he knew that I was a Christian. All I did was work and did what I was told to without complaining. Well, I guess Kevin was really amazed by this, and was talking to my dad to ask how I was doing. Apparently I had such an impact on Kevin, that he talked to his wife, and they're now going to send their son to a Christian school. This just blows my mind and makes me say "Wow.....I did that. I can really make an impact." This is why I say relationships are so important. I seriously only talked to the guy once, and now he's sending his son to a Christian school because of what he saw in me. My work isn't done....I have to be careful to not lose contact with Kevin. It's the same with everyone reading this note. Don't fade away from ANYTHING. If you claim God as your King, don't fade away. If you know a friend from high school or middle school that you haven't talked to in awhile, don't fade away. Keep striving hard, keep all your relationships...and most importantly, keep making the impacts that you don't even know you're making.

Thank you Jaren, for your final impact on me. I dedicate this to you, my friend.

Pillar devotional 1: Smiling Down

Title of song: Smiling Down
Link to song: http://search.playlist.com/tracks/smiling%2520down%2520pillar
Lyrics to song: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pillar/smilingdown.html
Message title: "God is Watching"

All right...I've been meaning to write this for quite awhile now, but never got around to it. The song is from Pillar's latest album, "For The Love Of The Game", and it's one of my favorite songs by them. Today it really hit me hard...much harder than I would ever anticipate. Let me start with a small story of what happened today. I went to play volleyball at a local church as I do every Monday night, because I love volleyball and the people there are pretty cool. But tonight I was very frustrated. First of all I wasn't playing well, and neither was anyone else for that matter. Most of the time everyone was just goofing off on the court, when we should be playing. Yeah, I know it's just a game, but the whole reason I'm there is actually to play, not watch other people make morons of themselves. And everyone always brings like, their 20 kids each (the people I play with are adults from the church), so the whole time it's like a nursery and the kids were being unusually rambunctious tonight. Overall, not a good night, and I left extremely frustrated. 

So I got to my car and turned on my Pillar CD like I always do, and the first song that came on was Smiling Down. It relaxed me, and I really payed attention to the words this time. The chorus really struck me: "Next time that you feel like crying, next time you don't feel like trying, just remember I'll be right there smiling down on you." Slowly tears started to swell to my eyes as I realized what this meant. But I'm a MAN! MEN DON'T CRY!!! Yeah, right. Not when God has something to say. 

I realized that in my frustration, I was sinning. I was angry at all the people from volleyball....all the Christian people there. Now, I'm a Christian, I always have God on my mind and struggle to answer the question "What would Jesus do?" in all situations. In my realization of my sin, of course I felt guilty, but take a look at the lyrics again. "Just remember I'll be right there smiling down on you." Meditate on that for a little bit. I think that when we sin, we get scared a little bit, because then we get the picture that God is glaring at us and is ready to chastise us because we broke His law. Not so. God is SMILING! He loves us! That was the greatest comfort of all for me...knowing that God is smiling and saying "Hey, it's ok. Here, come into my arms. You're safe here." When I found a parking space at a Giant, I listened to the song again, but this time I really noticed my seat belt. Of course I always had it on, but it felt....different. It actually felt like Jesus was hugging me...and it felt great! "Hey Chris....I know you feel bad. I know you sinned. But here, let me hold you, I'll take care of you." Is there anything greater? Not a thing. So here's the bottom line: we all sin. We're imperfect humans, and we can do nothing to save ourselves. But when we sin, God the Father is not looking down with a leather whip in his hand and a cold glare on his face. Rather, He has Jesus in His right hand, and a smile on His face. "Come to me, I'll take care of you. You are forgiven." Nothing is greater. Praise be to God.

Expect more of these notes...I want do to one for each song on Pillar's latest album. Anticipate them being very powerful; hopefully as powerful as I think this one is.