My current status: "the time has come to show myself who I really am." As with anyone who's ever posted a cryptic status such as that, there's a reason behind it.
My favorite times are when God speaks through things that no one would ever expect, such as the song "The Enemy" by a band who goes by the name "Godsmack". Yeah...one time God spoke to me through Not Afraid by Eminem. I spoke to my guys about that...and it's something that they have told me is most memorable to them. So, with this song that I heard today, the first verse was what spoke to me the most. Pardon the curse, but here's how the first verse goes: Hey, Oh Mister backstabbin' son of a bitch...you're livin' in a world that'll soon be dyin'...and I know everybody knows you try to be like me...but even at your best as a man you couldn't equal half of me."
That last line, but even at your best as a man you couldn't equal half of me, is what made me really think. It's so true...when we have God on our side, Satan is nothing. He can try, but he really can't touch us. It's an encouraging thought, and a prevalent one as we go through easy times. But what about when we go through difficult times? What about when we drop our guard and let Satan get a foothold? What then? Sometimes it's easy to forget this.
Last night, I was innocently tossing my baseball in the air. I was just joking around and faking Zac that I was going to throw it at him. On one of my fake throws, the ball slipped out of my hand and hit my laptop screen, shattering it on the inside. Even though I was calm on the outside, there was a fire burning inside of me. How could I be so stupid? Can't I just rewind about 5 seconds and do that part of my life over? It was frustrating, and I couldn't rest. It's especially frustrating when I don't have much money to my name, not enough to invest another $100 into my 4-year old laptop. I crawled into bed, not wanting to pray or talk to anyone at all. But I knew that that was the most important time to pray. It went something like this..."God...I don't know why this happened. I don't understand why something so valuable had to get damaged, and I don't know why I have to go to my parents every time I need a few bucks. God...help me see things more clearly."
I stayed up for about an extra hour last night just thinking. Life has been extremely good for me lately. I only have 10 credits, and 4-day weekends every weekend. I've been leading a Bible study, attending a different one, pushing my body to new physical plateaus, and everything has been great lately. The only downside in this was that I wasn't really earning any money. Not a big deal at the time, but I knew since I was peaking in many different areas in my life Satan would start coming after me and try to bring me down. Well, it almost worked. This laptop incident could have truly broken me if I had lost my temper. But God had trained me, and I rose to the occasion.
Despite the fact that I felt like I had temporarily warded off Satan, I was still in thought. I knew I needed to start saving up money, and I needed jobs to do that. I work for my advisor and for a different department on campus, but so far I haven't done much work due to my own laziness and lack of motivation. This is where my status comes in, where I dare myself to show myself who I really am. I can talk all I want for God's Kingdom, and I've been doing that a lot lately. But if I'm not willing to really work for God and to earn an income for myself, what am I? Not a whole lot. Too often I've treated life and the pursuit of God like a race rather than a journey. So last night and today I took a step back from things and looked at everything around me. And there's a thought that God keeps beating over my head, and it's "sell your Wii". What good does it really do me? No amount of playing Super Smash Bros can really glorify God in the long run, so it's something I'm going to do.
And now it's time to show myself, show everyone, and prove to God what I really am. I don't want to be just a talker, and I don't want to be a sluggard. God is leading me and Satan is behind me. Again, it's easy to say this when times are calm and everything is going great. But I'm faced with adversity right now, and God is going to help me overcome it because I'm trusting Him every step of the way. The journey continues...I have no one to race. I'm now prepared to put on the armor of God and walk the warrior's path that He has set before me. This is the honorable way...and this is how to get through the hard times. Trusting in Him always.
My favorite times are when God speaks through things that no one would ever expect, such as the song "The Enemy" by a band who goes by the name "Godsmack". Yeah...one time God spoke to me through Not Afraid by Eminem. I spoke to my guys about that...and it's something that they have told me is most memorable to them. So, with this song that I heard today, the first verse was what spoke to me the most. Pardon the curse, but here's how the first verse goes: Hey, Oh Mister backstabbin' son of a bitch...you're livin' in a world that'll soon be dyin'...and I know everybody knows you try to be like me...but even at your best as a man you couldn't equal half of me."
That last line, but even at your best as a man you couldn't equal half of me, is what made me really think. It's so true...when we have God on our side, Satan is nothing. He can try, but he really can't touch us. It's an encouraging thought, and a prevalent one as we go through easy times. But what about when we go through difficult times? What about when we drop our guard and let Satan get a foothold? What then? Sometimes it's easy to forget this.
Last night, I was innocently tossing my baseball in the air. I was just joking around and faking Zac that I was going to throw it at him. On one of my fake throws, the ball slipped out of my hand and hit my laptop screen, shattering it on the inside. Even though I was calm on the outside, there was a fire burning inside of me. How could I be so stupid? Can't I just rewind about 5 seconds and do that part of my life over? It was frustrating, and I couldn't rest. It's especially frustrating when I don't have much money to my name, not enough to invest another $100 into my 4-year old laptop. I crawled into bed, not wanting to pray or talk to anyone at all. But I knew that that was the most important time to pray. It went something like this..."God...I don't know why this happened. I don't understand why something so valuable had to get damaged, and I don't know why I have to go to my parents every time I need a few bucks. God...help me see things more clearly."
I stayed up for about an extra hour last night just thinking. Life has been extremely good for me lately. I only have 10 credits, and 4-day weekends every weekend. I've been leading a Bible study, attending a different one, pushing my body to new physical plateaus, and everything has been great lately. The only downside in this was that I wasn't really earning any money. Not a big deal at the time, but I knew since I was peaking in many different areas in my life Satan would start coming after me and try to bring me down. Well, it almost worked. This laptop incident could have truly broken me if I had lost my temper. But God had trained me, and I rose to the occasion.
Despite the fact that I felt like I had temporarily warded off Satan, I was still in thought. I knew I needed to start saving up money, and I needed jobs to do that. I work for my advisor and for a different department on campus, but so far I haven't done much work due to my own laziness and lack of motivation. This is where my status comes in, where I dare myself to show myself who I really am. I can talk all I want for God's Kingdom, and I've been doing that a lot lately. But if I'm not willing to really work for God and to earn an income for myself, what am I? Not a whole lot. Too often I've treated life and the pursuit of God like a race rather than a journey. So last night and today I took a step back from things and looked at everything around me. And there's a thought that God keeps beating over my head, and it's "sell your Wii". What good does it really do me? No amount of playing Super Smash Bros can really glorify God in the long run, so it's something I'm going to do.
And now it's time to show myself, show everyone, and prove to God what I really am. I don't want to be just a talker, and I don't want to be a sluggard. God is leading me and Satan is behind me. Again, it's easy to say this when times are calm and everything is going great. But I'm faced with adversity right now, and God is going to help me overcome it because I'm trusting Him every step of the way. The journey continues...I have no one to race. I'm now prepared to put on the armor of God and walk the warrior's path that He has set before me. This is the honorable way...and this is how to get through the hard times. Trusting in Him always.
