FINALLY!!! I've been waiting for this...another late night with no commitments tomorrow, and God forbid I should go a full month without writing. It's been way too long since I finally sat down to do this. And what better time than the present...wide awake on this late night, and man do I have some things to write about.
It's really ironic that I'm so awake right now. I managed to show quite a bit of energy this week, but this week has been one of the most physically and mentally draining weeks in recent memory. I woke up at 6 AM three times this week to lift before work, then work a mentally-draining 8-5 shift. Give myself 15 minutes to power down a few slices of pizza, and then I helped out with the bus ministry for Vacation Bible School at church at 5:30, and typically didn't get home until about 10:00...at which time was time for bed and doing it all over again. It was so draining and tiring, but I passionately prayed and asked for prayer on Sunday for energy from God to do the work that was in front of me. Not only was I granted this, but I emerged from this week a few things I didn't expect: a renewed life perspective, and the awakening of a dormant wildfire.
I originally volunteered to help out with 2nd-3rd graders because my co-worker was sending her daughter to VBS, and wanted me to be a friendly face for her. So I signed up for this spot, but God steered me in a different direction. I was asked to help with the bus ministry with my friends Joel, Scott, and Jess. The bus goes to an apartment complex that is predominately a black community to pick up kids to bring them to VBS and church on Sundays. It's a rougher "inner-city" crowd in who-knows-what situations...I'm not judging, this is just the way it is. One of the main goals of my presence was to keep the kids in line because, as I learned, they can get extremely rowdy. I ended up taking a part I didn't want to play...the strict-teacher/security guard type person. There were plenty of times the kids just needed to shut their mouths for their own safety on the bus. I had never worked with that kind of crew before, and never even THOUGHT about it in the past. But, this is what I ended up doing.
But God didn't stop here. All of a sudden, I found myself on-stage doing goofy hand motions to the songs that were being sung. Joel and I just made them up because we were bored at the VBS meeting the day before...2 days later, we're on stage doing the same motions and keeping the kids entertained. That was actually more of my comfort zone...I'm used to being a moron :) But such is the nature of all VBSs...you sign up, and you volunteer wherever you can. So I helped (marginally) with snack time, and led one of the (less-popular) games on Friday. But despite all these minor nicks in the armor, God STILL wasn't done! Oh not at all...on Thursday, I felt the Spirit leading me to present a Gospel message to the kids on the bus. Let me recap a few things. First, I've never really worked with kids before. Second, I've actually never presented a Gospel message on my own. Third, these kids are ROWDY! How are they ever going to pay attention??? But sure enough, here I am on this bus, boldly presenting the story of Jesus and the Good News to these kids who may not have heard it before. And I can say boldly without hint of pride because it was all God working through me...He authored that day and my words. And as expected, I had a hard time keeping them quiet and making them stay attentive, but I looked around and saw 2 or 3 that were REALLY paying attention, so I focused my eyes a lot on them and I think the Lord hit them pretty hard when I was done.
But despite my booming voice, the bus was so loud that not everyone who wanted to hear me were able to hear. So the very next day, I was stretched again. Nehemiah, a little boy going into 2nd grade, sits beside me on the bus. And in his precious little voice, asks me, "Can you tell me the story of Jesus again, like you did yesterday?" I could've hugged him until he couldn't breathe anymore. The fact that he asked that showed me that he had been thinking about it ever since I spoke the previous day. He was trying to meditate on Jesus. Then something became evidently clear...something amazing and awe-inspiring...GOD USED ME!!!! I know my sins and my shortcomings (Psalm 51:3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.), but God chose me to speak to this little boy about Himself despite my shortcomings. I don't believe I ever spoke so boldly and clearly as I did to little Nehemiah. And he soaked in every word that came from the mouth of God through me.
Now getting to my main point, what came out of this week was unforgettable and life-altering. Right now I'm still a guy searching for myself, searching for God, and searching for my true calling and vocation on this earth. I work at a help desk right now in a corporate environment. Something I've learned about the corporate environment is that it's one of the most soul-deadening atmospheres on the planet. There are so many guys that come into work that just look dead when they come in and when they leave. Granted, I don't know their stories. But if I were to judge from how they talk and look, it just looks like they're working for a paycheck because they have to, while killing their souls in the process. It pains me to no end to see this. And all the time I work there, I'm at risk of the same thing. But working for the Lord this week, seeing the energy that flowed through me despite sheer exhaustion, seeing little children learn about God through His words spoken through me, I came out of this week with fire.
Now, fire is mentioned a few times in the Bible. One of my favorite verses to quote is Job 23:10, "But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." When gold is tested, it means that it has to become moldable to be strengthened. And how is gold tested? 1 Peter 1:7, "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." Proverbs 17:3, "The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but they Lord trieth the hearts." Trial by fire...it's a common saying for a reason. We are made strong through being stretched, James 1:2-3 "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into diverse temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." And we need these fires to make us stronger.
But fire has this nasty tendency of fizzling out. Candles, campfires, even oil candles, they all burn out unless you refuel them somehow. But you know what doesn't always need more fuel? A wildfire! Wildfires are tragic happenings in the world, destroying property and taking lives. However, maybe we need a wildfire in our lives. Personally I know I'm a passionate guy and I can get very frustrated if I feel a fire dying. This week I got a rekindling, but I want it to turn into an all-out wildfire. Even at 4 AM (current time), it's easy to say that I'll go to bed now and finish this tomorrow. But such is the nature of the wildfire...I stay up until this is finished because the Spirit is still burning in me. This can really apply to all aspects of life though. Talking incessantly about my future lady as much as I do, she's going to want a man that is absolutely on fire for the Lord. And I can't be on fire for the Lord just so I can get my wife, but I must be on fire for the Lord ALWAYS, and let the wife come when God brings her in. But I've been so blessed in this past week. God started a wildfire in me and I want to keep fueling it. So it's time to put myself on the frontline. Time to embrace my spiritual gift of leadership in whatever venue I should find myself in. Time to BOLDLY proclaim the story of Jesus. I'm just following the warrior's path to wherever God leads, and right now I'm led to this church. I'm excited after talking with friends tonight because I KNOW something big is going to happen at this church, and I'm going to be a big part of it. I don't know what it's going to be or who it will affect, but God is going to continue to use me in gargantuan ways. So it's time to get out of my comfort zone and make a scene for the Lord, as my man Tedashii says. I struggle with many things...pride, lust, anger, to name a few. But this is God's wildfire, and it's not in me for no reason, and He's going to use me despite AND because of my shortcomings. "Can you tell me the story of Jesus again, like you did yesterday?"
THIS IS WHAT IT'S ABOUT!!!!!! Open up to Christ and dare yourself to be opened up to the wildfire buried in YOU :)
It's really ironic that I'm so awake right now. I managed to show quite a bit of energy this week, but this week has been one of the most physically and mentally draining weeks in recent memory. I woke up at 6 AM three times this week to lift before work, then work a mentally-draining 8-5 shift. Give myself 15 minutes to power down a few slices of pizza, and then I helped out with the bus ministry for Vacation Bible School at church at 5:30, and typically didn't get home until about 10:00...at which time was time for bed and doing it all over again. It was so draining and tiring, but I passionately prayed and asked for prayer on Sunday for energy from God to do the work that was in front of me. Not only was I granted this, but I emerged from this week a few things I didn't expect: a renewed life perspective, and the awakening of a dormant wildfire.
I originally volunteered to help out with 2nd-3rd graders because my co-worker was sending her daughter to VBS, and wanted me to be a friendly face for her. So I signed up for this spot, but God steered me in a different direction. I was asked to help with the bus ministry with my friends Joel, Scott, and Jess. The bus goes to an apartment complex that is predominately a black community to pick up kids to bring them to VBS and church on Sundays. It's a rougher "inner-city" crowd in who-knows-what situations...I'm not judging, this is just the way it is. One of the main goals of my presence was to keep the kids in line because, as I learned, they can get extremely rowdy. I ended up taking a part I didn't want to play...the strict-teacher/security guard type person. There were plenty of times the kids just needed to shut their mouths for their own safety on the bus. I had never worked with that kind of crew before, and never even THOUGHT about it in the past. But, this is what I ended up doing.
But God didn't stop here. All of a sudden, I found myself on-stage doing goofy hand motions to the songs that were being sung. Joel and I just made them up because we were bored at the VBS meeting the day before...2 days later, we're on stage doing the same motions and keeping the kids entertained. That was actually more of my comfort zone...I'm used to being a moron :) But such is the nature of all VBSs...you sign up, and you volunteer wherever you can. So I helped (marginally) with snack time, and led one of the (less-popular) games on Friday. But despite all these minor nicks in the armor, God STILL wasn't done! Oh not at all...on Thursday, I felt the Spirit leading me to present a Gospel message to the kids on the bus. Let me recap a few things. First, I've never really worked with kids before. Second, I've actually never presented a Gospel message on my own. Third, these kids are ROWDY! How are they ever going to pay attention??? But sure enough, here I am on this bus, boldly presenting the story of Jesus and the Good News to these kids who may not have heard it before. And I can say boldly without hint of pride because it was all God working through me...He authored that day and my words. And as expected, I had a hard time keeping them quiet and making them stay attentive, but I looked around and saw 2 or 3 that were REALLY paying attention, so I focused my eyes a lot on them and I think the Lord hit them pretty hard when I was done.
But despite my booming voice, the bus was so loud that not everyone who wanted to hear me were able to hear. So the very next day, I was stretched again. Nehemiah, a little boy going into 2nd grade, sits beside me on the bus. And in his precious little voice, asks me, "Can you tell me the story of Jesus again, like you did yesterday?" I could've hugged him until he couldn't breathe anymore. The fact that he asked that showed me that he had been thinking about it ever since I spoke the previous day. He was trying to meditate on Jesus. Then something became evidently clear...something amazing and awe-inspiring...GOD USED ME!!!! I know my sins and my shortcomings (Psalm 51:3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.), but God chose me to speak to this little boy about Himself despite my shortcomings. I don't believe I ever spoke so boldly and clearly as I did to little Nehemiah. And he soaked in every word that came from the mouth of God through me.
Now getting to my main point, what came out of this week was unforgettable and life-altering. Right now I'm still a guy searching for myself, searching for God, and searching for my true calling and vocation on this earth. I work at a help desk right now in a corporate environment. Something I've learned about the corporate environment is that it's one of the most soul-deadening atmospheres on the planet. There are so many guys that come into work that just look dead when they come in and when they leave. Granted, I don't know their stories. But if I were to judge from how they talk and look, it just looks like they're working for a paycheck because they have to, while killing their souls in the process. It pains me to no end to see this. And all the time I work there, I'm at risk of the same thing. But working for the Lord this week, seeing the energy that flowed through me despite sheer exhaustion, seeing little children learn about God through His words spoken through me, I came out of this week with fire.
Now, fire is mentioned a few times in the Bible. One of my favorite verses to quote is Job 23:10, "But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." When gold is tested, it means that it has to become moldable to be strengthened. And how is gold tested? 1 Peter 1:7, "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." Proverbs 17:3, "The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but they Lord trieth the hearts." Trial by fire...it's a common saying for a reason. We are made strong through being stretched, James 1:2-3 "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into diverse temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." And we need these fires to make us stronger.
But fire has this nasty tendency of fizzling out. Candles, campfires, even oil candles, they all burn out unless you refuel them somehow. But you know what doesn't always need more fuel? A wildfire! Wildfires are tragic happenings in the world, destroying property and taking lives. However, maybe we need a wildfire in our lives. Personally I know I'm a passionate guy and I can get very frustrated if I feel a fire dying. This week I got a rekindling, but I want it to turn into an all-out wildfire. Even at 4 AM (current time), it's easy to say that I'll go to bed now and finish this tomorrow. But such is the nature of the wildfire...I stay up until this is finished because the Spirit is still burning in me. This can really apply to all aspects of life though. Talking incessantly about my future lady as much as I do, she's going to want a man that is absolutely on fire for the Lord. And I can't be on fire for the Lord just so I can get my wife, but I must be on fire for the Lord ALWAYS, and let the wife come when God brings her in. But I've been so blessed in this past week. God started a wildfire in me and I want to keep fueling it. So it's time to put myself on the frontline. Time to embrace my spiritual gift of leadership in whatever venue I should find myself in. Time to BOLDLY proclaim the story of Jesus. I'm just following the warrior's path to wherever God leads, and right now I'm led to this church. I'm excited after talking with friends tonight because I KNOW something big is going to happen at this church, and I'm going to be a big part of it. I don't know what it's going to be or who it will affect, but God is going to continue to use me in gargantuan ways. So it's time to get out of my comfort zone and make a scene for the Lord, as my man Tedashii says. I struggle with many things...pride, lust, anger, to name a few. But this is God's wildfire, and it's not in me for no reason, and He's going to use me despite AND because of my shortcomings. "Can you tell me the story of Jesus again, like you did yesterday?"
THIS IS WHAT IT'S ABOUT!!!!!! Open up to Christ and dare yourself to be opened up to the wildfire buried in YOU :)
