Thursday, January 23, 2014

The fight of my life

Tonight I had a revelation.

The Biggest Loser is one of my favorite shows on TV right now. It's inspirational to me to see people fighting for their own lives, literally. After each episode, I feel like all I want to do is immediately change my life, get back to the gym, eat right, yada yada. I even got the chance to talk to one of the winners of the show when he came to visit my gym a year ago, so he told me of the drama that goes on behind the scenes, but the show is inspirational nonetheless. This past episode was the traditional "makeover week", where the final contestants get new clothes, hairstyles, and match their wardrobe to their new body shape. There was one moment on this episode that I don't want to forget, which was with my favorite contestant, David. David reminds me a lot of myself, minus the fact that he started the show at 400 pounds. He's a quirky guy, yet passionate. He loves his wife and his daughters, is a romantic at heart, and he has a picture of 2 nails tattooed across his heart to symbolize that he has the heart of a warrior. So yes, he's a little crazy, which is why he reminds me of myself! But he's got a fire in him that shows in every episode...he doesn't quit and in his own weight-loss way, he fights with a Braveheart-like passion. But this moment I don't want to forget came when he saw his family for the first time after his makeover. His wife and daughters came up the stairs, and the look that was on the face of his middle daughter simply pierced my heart. It was a look of ecstasy, shock, and joy. And of course they all burst into tears. What made it more inspirational was that his middle daughter said to him before the show that she had a dream of a man that was her dad that looked completely happy and healthy. And he just whispered in her ear "Do you remember that dream? Did it look something like this?" It was a great moment. But that look...I thought "I want to make someone have that look too".

After the show was over, I played connect-the-dots in my head. In order for someone to have that look on their face, I have to be inspirational. I've always had a desire to be an inspiration and to make a genuine impact of others' lives. I remember my own life mentor telling me how much he enjoys mentoring others, and I found that same joy in mentoring as well. Being a proper inspiration to others and mentoring requires a lot. Above all, it takes a constant and unwavering faith in the person of God. But in my life, I find this manifested in being consistent and being strong; having a consistent prayer life and devotional time, a selfless heart of service, and maintaining a constant face through life's trials. One thing I've written in the past, and have mentioned in other blogposts, is the temptation of mediocrity. The temptation of just coasting through life with a ho-hum attitude, not getting in anyone's way and just keeping to yourself in silent resignation. God didn't call us to a life filled with bills to pay, laundry to do, and groceries to get, even though these are still things that need to be done. But the dots I connected made me realize something. My desire to be an inspiration is suppressed by the vice of mediocrity. And that was my revelation:

I'm under attack.

My parents bought me a small devotional for Christian called "Prayer Warrior". I've been slowly reading through it...there are about 50-some written prayers specifically geared toward spiritual warfare. The first three sections are about understanding that there's a war and we're in it, knowing who our Commander is, and recognizing that our enemy is real. When I think of inspiration/mediocrity in the terms of this spiritual war, it allows me to realize just what is happening. I know what my desire is, and I want to do what I desire. But for some nonsensical reason, I do exactly the opposite. Satan is attacking my heart and causing me to be the opposite of what I want to be. It reminds me of the famous "do" passage in Romans 7: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." Complicated in word, but fairly simple in thought: We do what don't want to do, and we don't do what we DO want to do, all because of our sinful nature. Satan is the father of lies, the great deceiver. I know who I am, I know who God made me to be. Mediocrity doesn't define me.

Yes, I may get upset at work. I may grow lazy and lay around rather than going to the gym. But this is why I LOVE Proverbs 24:16: "for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes." So even though I don't feel like a righteous man, there is no doubt in my mind that I'm saved. I'm going to Heaven someday. Not through anything that I did, but because the Holy Spirit is in me. This is my weapon in this very real war, the Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God - Ephesians 6:17. There is only one way that anyone can achieve what they desire: submit to the grace of God and let Him lead. Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart - Psalm 37:4. I have a beautiful girl to fight for...that has been the desire of my heart for years, and now I have it. Her face is the one where I want to see that look of ecstasy, joy, and shock. I want to inspire her. So the fight of my life, as dramatic as it may sound, is real. Satan tried to steal my heart from me, and now I'm fighting to get it back.

No one is invincible in this life and no one has it all together. Friends, God has called you to a life full of joy (John 10:10). If there is a vice trying to hold you back, it is from Satan. I'm praying for anyone that reads this...eliminate your vices and let God be your Commander. Let Him show you an abundant life in ALL circumstances and phases of life.