A biblical exploration of stress

What do you do when you don't know where else to turn?

Stress. Does anyone ACTUALLY want stress? Of course not. But, stress happens. It's a fact of life and of the world we live in. Family, relationships, friends, jobs, other responsibilities and circumstances...the world we live in can get pretty overwhelming. We're sitting here sometimes even in pain of stress, and we don't know how to handle it. So I have three questions to ask that need a true biblical answer. Why do we get stressed? Who do we rely on? How do we beat it? Having an answer to these would certainly help with living in this crazy world. So let's dive in.

First question: Why do we get stressed? As usual, I provide my own life for example. I've been a Christian for about 13 years now (holy crap...that's crazy). My Christian life has been a pretty big roller coaster of spiritual ups and downs. 6th grade through 11th grade I was never living for the Lord with my passionate heart. A retreat changed me in 12th grade and I got on fire for God. Went through freshman and sophomore years in college on a small decline. Got through fall of junior year just fine. Then, spring semester of junior year happened...possibly the most awful time in my life. I don't even know how I got the way I did. Requirements for my 5 classes stressed me beyond belief. I'd say no to activities, I'd pull all-nighters and crazy long work days, and I just wasn't healthy. My parents were worried that my mindset was suicidal. My girlfriend at the time even said it had been a month since she had seen me smile. I even remember one night where Bill was scared to come in the bedroom because of my demeanor and the music I was listening to (Korn, Disturbed, Linkin Park, etc). So WHY was I so stressed? I ran out of time to do things. My life became work and the commitments around me. I shoved God to the side...I didn't have time for Him. So I shouldered the load and look where it got me, into the darkest pit of my life. And for what? So I could meet a college deadline? And how much of that really matters in the light of eternity? The stress and the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel" just isn't worth it. "Oh, I'll have more time to enjoy life once THIS is out of my hair". News flash, boys and girls...there's always going to be something in life trying to steal our time.

So the answer to why we get stressed is simply because we let Satan let us get stressed. But, but...family crap! And job stuff! Stop it. "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." - 1 Peter 5:8. Could we maybe say that stresses could also be referred to as temptations? You see, there's something interesting about Jesus' life. Through all the memoirs that are the Gospels, they provide pretty good detail about the stresses/temptations of his life. Starting in Matthew 4 when he wandered through the wilderness and fasted for 40 days, and let me stop there for a second. Fasting for 40 days?! Not eating for a month and a half?! The Bible doesn't articulate EXACTLY what he did, but 40 days of that would literally be some kind of hell on earth. Yet Jesus was peaceful. He was led by the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted/tested by Satan. And he responded to Satan and drove him away. Moving forward to Gethsemane, where Luke 22:44 says "And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground". Jesus knew he was about to be crucified, and a man not turning to God would completely shatter under this stress. Not the Lord. Jesus was not going to let Satan be a part of this scene. We always refer to Matthew 4 as Jesus' temptation. What we fail to realize is how much Jesus was tempted beyond that. This scene was a temptation. Jesus could have panicked and fled for the hills. But he knelt down, turned his eyes to the heavens, and the man sweat blood in his prayer. Did God reward him? Not necessarily. See, Jesus' circumstances didn't change, but his focus was on the Father. Jesus was stressed, but his soul was at peace.

Next question: Who do we rely on? I would answer it with one word, but that's no fun. So again from my own life. Junior year of college, I relied on myself. Even in team projects, which ended up being a total mess that year, I took a large part of the projects on myself and I ended up a mess. I was so stressed and couldn't handle it that I even threw up from the stress. It was absolutely awful. And again...for what? That semester weighs nothing on eternity. And now I have that memory instead of an enjoyable one. We can rely on others, but we all fail each other from day to day. No one has it all together, no matter how much it looks. I know people that I almost idolized at one point or another. They seemed to be living a great and happy life, they were great role models, people respected them, and everything looked great. Then I learned about things they struggled with. They sometimes even beat out my own stressful experiences. As the famous song says "we all need somebody to lean on". And we SHOULD lean on others; God made us relational beings. But we can never put the entirety of our faith in another person, or we'll end up in the pit I was in.

So the one-word answer to who we rely on is, of course, God. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7. "The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." - Isaiah 58:11. "For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:32-34. It's everywhere in the Bible. "Do not fear." "Do not worry." It's been said that there are 365 "fear nots" in the Bible. I've never looked for myself, but I know there are plenty to hold you over. And I know it's dangerous to take verses out of their original context. But put these verses back in their original context, and you'll see exactly what kinds of stresses these people were in. They likely outweigh your stresses. Rely on God first, He's made promises that He will keep.

The last question feels to me that it's been answered: how do we beat it? How did Jesus beat Satan in Matthew 4? How did Jesus beat Satan in Luke 22? He quoted Scripture. He prayed. He was completely in tune with Headquarters, completely immersed in the will of His Father. And that's how we beat this. We read. We pray. We seek God and grow close to Him as He grows close to us. As Jeremy Camp sings, "Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you. He's near to the broken and confused. By His stripes, our spirit is renewed. So enter in the joy prepared for you." - Healing Hand of God. And Jesus says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30. "Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber...very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep...the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:1,6,10.

One last thing. Jesus came to give us life more abundantly, and to the full. But we're in this life full of stresses and ridiculousness. Yet God made the promise "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13. So I made the argument that these stresses and temptations come from Satan, and not God ("When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone" - James 1:13). But tell me this. How is a diamond, either natural or synthetic, formed? The answer is that we take pure carbon (found in common graphite a.k.a. pencil lead), subject it to INTENSE heat and pressurization, bring it to a very quick cooling stage, and voila, a diamond. So...feeling the heat of life? Feeling pressured? Look to the heavens for a moment...God might be trying to do something with you. God always has a purpose for every moment of your life. Diamonds are flawless, and that's what God is trying to make us. We just have to seek Him first. And don't take any of this from me, I'm just another flawed and stressed human being. Take it from the perfect Word that God gave to us. He won't fail you, you just have to come to the surface and let Him cool you off.

What do you do when you don't know where else to turn? Let God make you into a diamond. Trust Him.

Why I Love Lightning

Because a Facebook status simply doesn't suffice! :)

What brings you closer to God? I'm sure a lot of things do. Reading the Bible. Praying. Doing good works. Even tragedies. Losing loved ones. Going through trials. The list can go on. But for me, it's lightning storms. Obviously, almost everyone enjoys beautiful, sunshiney weather. Rewarding work can be done outside, games can be played (especially baseball), and many other things. Others enjoy rain, just from the peacefulness that it brings as it flies through leaves on a tree. And you haven't lived until you've heard that rain falling on a tin roof. Still others enjoy snow. Peaceful, undisturbed snow is one of God's greatest beauties here on earth. As for me, I honestly don't care too much for rain or snow. I don't make it a secret that I'm a boy of the summer and I enjoy the sunshine. But at the end of a sunshiney day, I'd trade it away just to sit on a porch and watch God show off through a lightning storm.

Tonight I was at Sarah's place for awhile, and was leaving just as lightning started flashing and rolling thunder could be heard in the distance. Once I realized that storm was in the direction of my apartment, I FLEW home...of course, not before getting stuck behind the slowest of drivers. But anyway. I know some people can get scared of thunderstorms. Some don't like the loud bangs, yeah I get that. I know even others that had traumatic experiences with lightning...one of my childhood friends had lightning hit their chimney. And it's rare, but people die from lightning strikes too. But nonetheless, I haven't been traumatized and loud thunderclaps don't bother me. I LOVE thunderstorms! So I got home and began my thunderstorm tradition. I got my phone out and queued up Revelation Song by Phillips Craig & Dean. I ran into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of red wine...ONLY red wine will do, white wine simply doesn't suffice. I pulled up my chair on my porch, started playing the song on repeat, had a sip here and there, and just sat and watched.

Now I get excited during thunderstorms because, like I said, I like to watch God show off. Tonight was different. God wasn't just showing off. God was SHOWING OFF! Tonight these weren't just low rumblings and occasional white lights across the sky. These were bolts flying from the heavens down to earth. I remember seeing one that was so bright, it burned onto my retina for about 5 minutes. Every time I blinked, I could see the outline of this staggered bolt of glory. Wow. And just when I think the show was coming to a close...BANG! A huge claw-shaped bolt touches down and sends a huge crack through the sky. Those were the two that I remember most, and man were they beautiful.

Why do I love lightning storms so much? Well, I originally asked what brings us closer to God? To me, lightning storms are such a clear and tangible indication that God is here. So often we get the feeling that God is so distant and we can't connect with Him, so whenever I see lightning I rush out to meet Him there. I wrote something similar about this in the past, and I quoted Psalm 29:3, "The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the Lord thunders over the mighty waters." Every time I heard that thunderclap, God was saying "Here I am." It leaves me awestruck because of how big God is. A thunderclap isn't something that seems to come from the east or west, THIS direction or THAT direction, but it surrounds you. It's all around you. Whenever I hear that sound, I feel my eyes scan the entire sky because God is EVERYWHERE! Occasionally I would just close my eyes and let my other senses take everything in. These crazy thunderclaps would send chills down my spine and make goosebumps rise up instantly. Even a cold rain came and pelted me for a little while on my porch. The music truly added to it though. I have three favorite songs from Phillips Craig and Dean, "Revelation Song", "Great I Am", and "When the Stars Burn Down". I like them so much because they are beautiful, but they also have an eerie sense to them. I feel like these would be songs played as I'm approaching the throne of God. "Holy holy holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come" - Revelation Song. "Hallelujah, holy holy, God Almighty, the Great I Am. Who is worthy? None beside thee. God Almighty, the Great I Am" - Great I Am. "Blessing and honor and glory and power forever to our God" - When the Stars Burn Down. All of this just adds to an extraordinary experience.

Tonight I found myself quoting Jeremiah 32:17, "Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee." In this crazy life we live, I'm glad God gives us reminders that He's still here with us. God still has time for us as individuals and cares for us to our heart's deepest level, even while He roars just a small portion of His power through all of His creation. This is a truly awesome God we serve.

Like I said, a Facebook status simply doesn't suffice. I'm so thankful for the various things that God uses to bring us closer to His glory. We don't deserve that. We don't deserve to be anywhere near His glory, not in the sinful state that we're in. Even Christians go through life sometimes and forget to care about our relationship with God. It seems like a shame that God has to remind us so often just what a great God He is. But we're not perfect, He knows that. There's only one perfect being, and He's real. And thunderstorms may not bring you closer to God like they do with me, and you may not like thunderstorms at all. That's fine. I don't like spiders, but I have to remember that God created them, so they are good. Just remember that God is in thunderstorms and speaking through them. Don't be afraid to listen and I promise there is a wonderful experience to be had by witnessing just the smallest percentage of God's awesome beauty and power. And whatever brings you closer to God, find it and worship Him through it.

"The LORD also thundered in the heavens, and the Highest gave his voice; hail stones and coals of fire. Yea, he sent out his arrows, and scattered them; and he shot out lightnings, and discomfited them." - Psalm 18:13-14

"O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder consider all the worlds Thy hands have made, I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy power throughout the universe displayed! Then sings my soul, my savior God to Thee, How great Thou art, How great Thou art!" - How Great Thou Art (my 2nd favorite hymn)

Will you take me as I am?

Ever have that thought that keeps you up at night and won't let you go to sleep? That's why I'm here right now.

The thought on my mind has to do with sin and forgiveness. Recently I've been struggling with something. A friend of mine committed a sin...it's a pretty blatant sin if we're defining it biblically, which is how we define sin anyway. The thing that has been bugging me about it is that no one really seems to care or take it too seriously. I've talked to a few friends about it and have mostly been getting a "eh, whatever" reaction. Because I feel dumbfounded about it, I do what I do best...I get frustrated about it. So I've been struggling for awhile with this and tonight God reached me and gave me a beautiful thought.

First of all, sin is sin. Murder, rape, lying, stealing, it's sin and it's breaking God's law, causing a rift in our holy relationship. "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all" - James 2:10. But because of these circumstances surrounding the sin of my friend, I gave into temptation as well and also sinned. My sin was judgment, lack of forgiveness and compassion, pride, anger, among other things I'm sure. Even though all sins separate us from God, we still "rank" them. Murder is worse than lying, rape is worse than stealing, and so on. I don't know if that's right or wrong, but that's not what I want to focus on. My sin separated me from God as much as my friend's sin did. My friend's sin is ranked high on my "list" of sins, which is why I became angry.

Did I do much to help the situation? No, not really. I was frustrated and I let that affect me and others. But God led me to a song that I've been listening to all night: "Take Me As I Am" by Lecrae. I'm not even joking when I say that every syllable of every word in this song is convicting to me. The chorus can sum it up: "Will You take me as I am? / I know the way I'm livin' is wrong / I wonder, how could You love me when my life's so ugly / but You came down and died for me / Will you take me as I am?" That, along with the end of the first verse: "I thought at first I had to clean up my life / Now I'm hearin' I just need to cling to the light / I'm ready to do it, but Lord I pray you understand, / My life is a mess. Will you take me as I am?" This song is incredibly powerful. It shows the desperate and depraved state that we're in and that we can do nothing to bring ourselves out of it. Shamed, we avoid God, thinking we have to somehow try to make ourselves pure before entering His presence. Isaiah certainly thought so. "Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts." - Isaiah 6:5. Adam certainly thought so too. "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself." - Genesis 3:10. They experienced shame because of the state that they were in. But God answers: "Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar: And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged." - Isaiah 6:6-7. He answers again: "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." - Hebrews 4:16. Because of the love of God, we're now free to enter into His presence, which is exactly what God wants. He wants us to love Him and be close to Him. Unashamed, for all is forgiven.

The song, the verses. What is God saying? "Alright. I'm done with it! It's in the past. We're forgetting about it. We're moving on. We've dealt with it." That's what God is saying through these words. We had a guest evangelist at my church last Sunday who told us to "have a funeral" for our sins. We are alive in Christ and dead to sin, therefore we can bury our sin six feet under...not forgetting it, but learning from it and forsaking it.

And if God is up somewhere in the heavens forgiving sins and moving on...shouldn't I do the same? Why should I sit here and continue to judge and be frustrated? Surely my sins aren't any better or worse than someone else's, especially with this plank in my eye as Jesus says I have. That doesn't necessarily mean I should flat-out ignore it when someone sins. That's not helping them grow closer to God. Sins should be addressed and discussed biblically, and work put in to avoid the sin in the future. But if it is dealt with and repentance is gained, that should be the end of it. A true definition of forgive and forget.

I'm certainly not saying I have an all-wise handle on this (especially at 2:16am, current time). But no matter what sin we commit, we can always come to God with it and He will take us just as we are because He sees us at the heart and loves us. We're not defined by the sin we commit...we are defined by exactly what God tells us we are. My definition is White Knight because God told me that's what I am. But even the strongest of Christ's warriors sin on a daily basis. And in light of this, Colossians 3:12-13 states "Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." I'm so glad for this message from God. Since God takes us just as we are, we should take our brother and sister just as they are. Not judgmental, not angry, but with all that Colossians states. My friends, I screw up on a daily basis, and if I'm your friend I will let each and every one of you down because I am imperfect. Will you please take me as I am, and ask me to do the same for you just as God does for us?

It's been a while...

Oh, it certainly HAS been a while. 2013 has been an utter failure for me thus far with writing! 3 1/2 months without a new post?! For shame! But here I am with plenty of updates, and to be honest I'm not entirely sure what I want to write about. But God will do as God always does...He will use what is written here to bring glory to His Kingdom. So frankly it doesn't even matter what I write. My purpose is to glorify God with whatever is written, so it will be what God wills it to be. So here I am with nothing but the Spirit and a glass of chamomile tea at my disposal. Thanks to all who read...be blessed, friend!

Well it certainly seems strange that almost 1/3 of 2013 has flown by already. Highlighted by God leading me to my wonderful and amazing girlfriend Sarah, I've officially become a member of a church for the first time in my life, have gone to Kansas on a business trip, magically contracted mono (and have beaten it, thank God), and started assistant coaching for baseball at my high school. It's already been a whirlwind...awake at 5:45 on most days to either go to the gym or start work now that baseball season started, active until 5, generally have plans after that, and I'm home sometime after 8:00 at night. Then I go to bed and do it all over again! It's been exhausting but rewarding.

I guess all this busy schedule has had me exhausted to the point where I would have a cool theological thought earlier in the day, but would either be too busy or too exhausted to write about it later. Which is strange since most of my writings occur at dark o'clock in the morning anyway. But I guess I'm getting old or something...I normally can't stay up past 12 without my eyelids snapping shut. You definitely get old after college, that's for sure.

But enough about my updates...that's not why I keep this blog. I generally just spill my guts in hopes that someone can learn from either my good decisions or my mistakes, and I certainly have plenty of mistakes to learn from. I was thinking about one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books, The Disciplined Life. It goes like this: "It is reported that when a professional author said to Sir Winston Churchill that he couldn't write unless the "mood" cam on him, the great statesman replied: 'No! Shut yourself in your study from nine to one and make yourself write. Prod yourself!-kick yourself!-it's the only way.'" This quote comes in a section entitled "Priorities", and in a chapter entitled "Discipline the Mark of Maturity". See, I was thinking tonight of why I haven't written in so long. Why haven't I sat down just to write what God was laying on my mind? Why am I even writing now that I don't have a specific thought to write about? I wrote a blogpost about 2 years ago entitled "Avoiding Mediocrity". I find it profound just for myself, because I can look back on my own life and get a better understanding of what I'm going through now. In it, I said the quote "...I know what happens when I become mediocre. I fall into old sins that consume me and often seem impossible to beat." And this is true. I look back and think, "Well I generally struggle with sexual sins and anger. Um...I THINK I'm doing okay? I mean I don't see any issues." This is common when dealing with mediocrity and apathy. "Eh, everything looks fine. No big deal. I mean yeah I mess up now and then, but nobody's perfect. Oh well." But then I took another look. I have quite a few people that can attest to this, but work has been getting to me lately. I've been getting frustrated with callers, talking short to them, muting the phone and saying what I want before unmuting the phone. C'mon...that's not me. But it is when I become mediocre and just stop caring. Something's wrong here...

My "life verse", if you will, is Proverbs 15:9, "The LORD detests the way of the wicked, but he loves those who pursue righteousness." I've talked about this before...but my favorite word in this verse is the word "pursue". What happens when you're in pursuit of something? Do you not go headlong into trying to get what you're pursuing? Do you not develop some kind of strategy and proceed step-by-step until you have what you want? Men, think about pursuing a girl you like. The proper way, mind you...if you're just trying to get into someone's pants then you're a shell of a man and need help. But when you want a relationship with a girl, you figure out "Ok, how can I get her? I need to find out what she likes, come up with a few icebreakers, work up some courage to actually ask her out..." And so on. Fun fact, I wanted to pursue a relationship with Sarah, but I almost didn't. She lives in Maryland and I live in Pennsylvania...I just didn't see it working. But then my friends convinced me to break the ice anyway, and at the risk of sounding fruity, it's been nothing but magical ever since that. The point being, I wanted her, so I pursued her. It would've been easy for me to just try to forget about her and move along, wading through my pool of mediocrity. I wanted her...but I was going to give up? That's not a pursuit! No, I invested my time, effort, and prayer time, and wouldn't stop until I had her. That doesn't sound like mediocrity. And hopefully I'm not leading you too off-course...this isn't Chris's "How to get a girlfriend 101" seminar. The objective is defining what pursuit looks like. Now go back to Proverbs 15:9. Who does the Lord love? Those that PURSUE RIGHTEOUSNESS! If we believe in God and in Jesus Christ, we want the Lord's love. The way to get to this is to pursue righteousness. What is righteousness? I'll leave that up to you to figure out...I would need a whole library of blogposts to give a proper biblical definition.

But I think the problem with many of us stuck in this is desensitization. Meaning, we don't even realize what we're stuck in, and we're fine with just coasting along. One of my current favorite songs matches this perfectly, and especially the music video for it. The song is The Proof of Your Love by For King & Country. The music video combined with the words of the song...if it doesn't hit your heart in some way, start praying for yourself. This song is incredibly powerful. But in the music video, they start off in a weird dungeon-like prison where they're gagged and earmuffed, and even have weird scales over their eyes so they're basically just walking zombies (like many people in the corporate environment or in bars, no?). In short, they're desensitized. It isn't until one boy sings, "So let my life be the proof, the proof of Your love" that the lead singer has the scales removed from his eyes and he begins singing as well. By singing, people are hearing and slowly coming to their senses again. At the end of the video, the two lead singers are in the middle of a circle of the "bad guys", but they continue to sing as all of the desensitized prisoners break out of the prison/dungeon. It is beyond powerful. The dungeon and the modes of desensitizing represent the bond that Satan tries, and sometimes succeeds, to force on us. When we're faced with times of mediocrity or apathy, we're under attack. Satan wants all Christians down for the count and will do anything to stop us. He'll make us lose hope, stop caring for others, get tired of it all, and just sit back and veg out. The bombing at the Boston Marathon just happened today, and I saw a friend's status about being desensitized to the depravity and tragedy all around us. He's right. We've stopped caring about tragedy. This event will cause many Christians to lose hope and put on a "why bother?" attitude. And look at the heroes of the day, those that put themselves in harm's way to respond quickly and tend to as many people as they could. Whether this event becomes media-blown or not, I don't care...it's a tragedy regardless and needs its due attention. Thinking about the singers in the video...they opened their mouths to spread Christ's love. They got hurt, beaten, and continued to sing.

But one of the most profound parts of the song is the spoken word part, where he quotes 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 from The Message: "If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." How many of us become mediocre and desensitized, and still try to play the Christian game? I know I do. I get tired, and then stop caring, but I'll still sing hymns in church without a second thought to how the prior week went. That's not how this works...and I can barely even look at myself in the mirror after writing that last sentence. I'm disgusted by it. Now what do we do about it? Proverbs 15:9. If you need to start loving again, PURSUE it. If you need to find God again, PURSUE Him. Do you have a broken relationship to repair? PURSUE it! Don't stop...pursue it. And when you think you're getting exhausted from pursuing, pray and BEG God for His Spirit to keep you going. Satan will attack, that's a guarantee. And we are positively foolish when we try to take demons on by ourselves. For (most) men, there's nothing manly or wise about trying to take a demon on alone. For (most) women, you're not troubling God with your request...He longs for your voice and your request and just wants to see you come to Him. And vice versa applies too...I'm sure women prefer to not let anyone in and try to take things on alone, and I'm sure some men feel guilty coming to God with such a request. God wants us. And when Satan attacks, we need to start screaming and run to God. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 (emphasis added). He'll give us rest. "Don't worry, I got it," He says. When we take a demon on alone, we have every reason to be absolutely terrified. But when God is fighting on our behalf, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39. Nothing can stop us with God.

I said this in my previous post 2 years ago, "Mediocrity is a vicious devil, my friends. It isn't just a ho-hum life...it's fully embracing Satan's will for your life." 2 years later and that hasn't changed. We have to be on constant watch and have constant support from fellow Christians to make sure that we aren't being desensitized to this world. We have to endure tragedies, love passionately, serve faithfully, and pursue always. Pursuit isn't something you take a break from. Thank God for that. How else would we have a chance to be so close to God if we weren't violently pursuing righteousness? Pursue and don't stop. When you drop the scales from your eyes and take off the earmuffs, you'll realize your life depends on it.

I pray that what was written in the past 2 hours of my time is impactful. As I said before, God will use this how God intends, and I praise Him for that. He can do with this far more than I ever could on my own. And here's the music video I talked about. For your own sake, please open your heart for 4 1/2 minutes and watch it. This song brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. God bless you, friend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-2dKOfbC9c

Reflections and challenges on this Eve #2

I wrote a similar post last year, so I decided to hopefully start a tradition of a post every Christmas Eve! It also helps that there's a specific theme I wanted to write about. So welcome back, and thanks to all who read!

I went to my co-worker's church this past Sunday to watch him preach, which was really cool to see him in an environment outside of work. They lit the final advent candle, and he preached on the concept of joy, which is what the last advent candle stands for. He reminded us of that...I know I forget what it stands for year after year haha. Everyone seems to be in the "Christmas spirit" and giving freely and cheerfully, so on the surface it seems like it shouldn't be so hard to be joyful. Or is it?

There was one statement that Adam (my co-worker) made that really stuck out to me during his sermon: "Joy is a decision". I wasn't sure how I felt about that at first. I mean, we have eternal life in Christ, shouldn't that be enough to make us joyful all the time? And more often than not, why doesn't it?

But I thought about this, and I thought of the notoriously short passage of 1 Thessalonians 5:17 - "Rejoice evermore", or for the NIV folks, "Be joyful always." Here, Paul phrases this as a command and a challenge. Rejoice. Be joyful. Not "you're going to be joyful all the time." So joy DOES end up being a decision. Let me tell you a little more about how joy is a decision. Right now it's hard to even concentrate writing this because my upstairs neighbors sound like their dog is about to come through the ceiling, as per usual. Plus, the female neighbor upstairs yells at anything and everything, but mostly her dog and fiancee. So right now my snap reaction isn't to knock on their door and give them a holly-jolly greeting, we'll just say that.

But the bigger thing happened about 2 weeks ago when I lost my wallet. Don't know how or where I lost it, but it still hasn't turned up and probably never will. Not that one time is better than another for losing your wallet, but this was very inopportune. Bills were due, Christmas shopping had to be done, I was almost out of gas, and I was sitting in the parking lot of Karns wanting to buy fruit for the game I was leading at church, which was in 1 1/2 hours at this point. To add to that, I live alone...my wallet is my only means to pay for things. Granted, I had plenty of people willing to help me out, but I was a little flustered. How many of you would've lost your minds at this point? Knowing me and my tendencies, I probably should have. But thank God for bringing me as far as He has, because I stepped back from everything (after operating in frenzy mode for the next hour trying to get the game ready for AWANA), and I had a decision to make. And I made my decision...I was going to be joyful. I knew that God was going to take care of me one way or another. Even if I didn't have friends to offer me money and I somehow died from losing my wallet (I know, drastic), God still would've taken care of me. He would've just brought me to Heaven! Cool, now I NEVER need a wallet!

And this is the joy we all need to have. Not saying I'm a perfect example...far from it. But in this situation I made a decision to be joyful because God has already given me the promise of Heaven. That's all I need, and it's more than enough! "Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory." - 1 Peter 1:8. "And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour" - Luke 1:47. Pick pretty much any of the Psalms...joy is all through them. Even the infamous Psalm 51, all about David's sin with Bathsheba. Yes, he cries out, "For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me" - 51:3. But read on, "Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice" - 51:8. Keep going..."Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." - 51:12. Then he ends with verses 16-19, all of which basically say "God, have your way. Do your will." I can see David already having a sense of joy that while he cries out, he KNOWS God is going to approve of his cry and bless him for it. Listen to what James says...1:2 (emp. added) "My brethren, count it all JOY when ye fall into divers temptations," Why? 1:3 - Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." Patience. The ability to handle more with superior grace and understanding. Like I've been feeling God helping me with. And here's one more little aside, something else that caught my eye. True joy only comes from God. We can't get it ourselves and we can't find it in anything else. Here's what I mean..."Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased." - Psalm 4:7. That's the fancy King James way of saying, alcohol ain't gonna getcha no joy! I know plenty of people who love to get drunk to forget about life's problems. Sure, it may make you happy for a time, if you even remember it. But joy beats happiness every day of the week. You can choose to argue that if you'd like, but taste and see that the Lord is good, then come back and tell me which you prefer.

Well, it's 2 hours before Christmas gets here. I know in my own life, quite a bit has happened that could easily tear down my joy if I let it. Joy IS a decision. Remember Jesus' birth, death, and resurrection. Celebrate the fact that God Incarnate came to earth to save our helpless little sinful souls from a quick journey to Hell. So next time you see your family arguing over the dinner table, next time someone cuts you off driving, next time someone almost nails you with their cart in the grocery store, make a decision. The decision DOES affect you and any involved parties. When December 25th comes, choose joy. When December 26th comes, keep choosing joy. Watch your world and the world around you change slowly but ever so surely. Choose joy from the only place you can: the cross of Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas everyone. Celebrate! OUR LORD IS BORN!!!!!!!

"He gave them over..."

I'm having a great morning so far today. I'm currently in a hotel lobby in South Carolina while my road trip buddy is still asleep in the room. I woke up, had a great (and free) breakfast, read Romans 1, and now grabbed my computer because God gave me this really cool thought...even though I'm only running on 3 1/2 hours of sleep. And it's never a bad time to blog :)

The reason that I'm really excited about this particular post is because it's not really about any events in my own life. I can relate to something, I'm sure. But this post is more about the nature of God, which is what our whole life's story is really about anyway. So as I was going through Romans 1, I came across verse 24, "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another" (emphasis added). It didn't hit me at first, but then I came across verse 28, ""Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done" (emphasis added). Hmmm..."he gave them over". What does that say about God's nature?

We obviously live in a fallen world. Life can treat us badly, and often unfairly (which is kind of false because we don't deserve fairness anyway). But even though we live in this fallen world, we have hope because we know that God is a good God and is a God of love and mercy. But there's the ever-popular quandry...why does God allow suffering in this world? Why does God allow people to go to hell? How can God be a God of love and at the same time be a God of wrath and justice? You see, these verses showed me something about God today.

When I read these verses, I thought a lot about the many unsaved people that I know and encounter. I would venture to say that a lot of people I know believe there's a God, but just never really studied Him or just don't believe He's powerful enough to do all of the things the Bible says He can do. Many of the same people find the Bible errant or contradictory, and would likely present verses like these as arguments. Granted, I'm naturally a skeptic too, and that's why I want to explore this. But I don't see this as a contradiction at all, and here's why. Yes, God is a God of love, peace, wrath, and justice...this is all His nature. We are his loved children (Beloved, now are we the sons of God - 1 John 3:2...among many other verses), we are holy in God's sight (In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight - Colossians 1:22). But that's what we are...we are children, and that will always be our place. We are not the Father. We are not perfect, we are only perfected through the work of Christ (ref. my previous blog post). So that is our place in this whole picture...we are under God fully. He is eternal, we're only here for an extremely short period of time in the realm of eternal.

There are places all over the Bible where God "gave them over", "them" meaning anyone...those that followed him and those that didn't and don't. "But God turned away and gave them over to the worship of the heavenly bodies. This agrees with what is written in the book of the prophets: "'Did you bring me sacrifices and offerings forty years in the desert, O house of Israel?'" - Acts 7:42. "So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices." - Psalm 81:12. Why? Why does a loving God do this? Now think about this...what do you think would happen to us if we abandoned God? That our lives would go WELL? Yeah I don't think so. In most of these instances where God gives people over to evil, they begin to worship false idols. God loves us so much that He gets angry with us when this happens ("For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God" - Exodus 34:14). That would be like me calling another married couple "mom and dad" just because I don't want to follow my own parents direction. They love me...I'm their son, and they would be upset if I were to do that. But we do it all the time when we put anything in the place where God should be. So even though God is still a loving God, he disciplines us by "giving us over" to sin.

And many people think this is unfair of God or just wrong of him to do. But is it really? I've said it before, God has made us with a free will, and He wants us to FREELY choose Him, not because He makes us come to Him. God is perfect and unapproachable ("And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live." - Exodus 33:20), but He still loves us so much and He desires us that he presents us the opportunity through Christ to come to Him ("Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." - Hebrews 4:16). This is God's love, and it's free. We think God is unfair. Yeah right. Why do we think we deserve something good from God? The only thing we deserve from abandoning an all-perfect and all-loving God is a one-way trip to hell. The reason God gives us over to our sinful desires is to give us an opportunity to come freely to Him. Not because He wants us to suffer, but because He knows who He is, and He knows the joy that only He can provide to us. But we have to seek it, we can't just expect it from God after we abandoned His love. Plain and simple, bad things happen when we don't keep God in our lives.

Sometimes I hear unsaved people jokingly scoff by saying, "Where is your God NOW?" I know where my God is all the time. And everyone would too if they chose to seek rather than scoff. God doesn't punish us unjustly...He gives us over to sinful desires and struggles so that we learn just how desperately we need Him. When we live in a comfortable house and have had most things provided for you (like I've had most of my life), it's easy to think that we're just fine without God. And it may seem like we're doing okay right now. But it's not the case...we desperately need God now, and we DEFINITELY desperately need God later. So when you face struggles and old sins, don't blame. Don't whine. Don't scoff. But seek God...because that's what He wants. How fortunate we are that God brings us down to size so that we can be PERFECT through Him.

Father, sometimes I don't understand your ways. I complain when I go through trials. I wonder why I end up in the same old places I've been before. But your Word is truth, and you've allowed me the ability to read you've said rather than mindlessly having it spoon-fed to me. Through everything endure, in the fight to carry on, help me to stand and face the rain because your Word says it will make me stronger. Thank you for allowing me freely into your presence, even though I don't deserve it. And may these words be yours for your own glory, and may these words reach the hearts of others reading. It's your story Father...not mine. Amen.

Perfection: far and near

Once again, it's been way too long since I blogged. And since I have the next 6 days off of work, what better time than the present! Thank you to all who read...it really means more to me than you'll ever know.

Tonight after volleyball, I stayed much later than I normally do to do something I haven't done in a very long time. Back when I still lived in Halifax, I used to take bike rides to the local elementary school, because it was the only place in that desolate town that I could find a basketball hoop lol. I used to go there, sit on the swing set and pray, and focus my mind by practicing my free throws. It wasn't a true foul shot, since the rim was only about 6 feet tall, but it sufficed. So tonight I took a breather from life. I continued taking shots long after everyone had left, and while I was shooting I got a really awesome parallel from God.

Free throws are an interesting beast in basketball. It's somewhat similar to pitching in baseball, in a way. Pretty much everyone, more or less, knows how to throw a ball. I know with athletic people like myself, we practice throwing to the point where it becomes comfortable and natural to us. Whenever you watch baseball players, their throws are smooth, seamless, and seemingly effortless. But when you watch a pitcher, they don't just throw a ball. Pitchers take some of the craziest motions just to get the ball to the plate, myself included. Same goes with free throws. Again most people, more or less, know how to shoot a basketball. But watch that same player when he/she gets to the free throw line. They may take about 15-20 seconds just to shoot the ball, after a series of spinning the ball off the ground, spinning it in their hand, dribbling very precisely a certain number of times, shooting fast/slow, and so on. They get all the time in the world to focus on their one shot where no one is guarding them. Even though they're shooting a 15-foot shot, it's one of the easiest shots in basketball. Or, logically, one would think.

So since it's so easy to shoot free throws, especially if you've practiced them for a long time and are good at them, it can be understandable to get frustrated after missing one. Everything becomes methodical about the shot. Myself, I have a VERY specific technique shooting free throws. I spin the ball off the ground once, dribble twice, spin the ball in both hands, bend at the knees, then look up at the rim as I'm becoming upright, and take my shot, ending on my tiptoes and taking 1 or 2 steps back, and as all of this is going on I also inhale and exhale 3 times, for no other reason than it's just my comfort area and that's what I do. It's very machine-like, and I don't divert from it. Yet occasionally, I miss the mark. Just a bit to the left, just a bit deep or short, or it just doesn't get that lucky bounce.

Well, tonight something happened. I was shooting while people were still there, and was shooting very well...it seemed like everything was falling. Then took a short break to talk to the last person there before she left, then got back to shooting. But when I got back to shooting, something was off. One miss. Then another. Three in a row. Uh oh. And these weren't "just barely" misses...I was missing pretty badly. It was then I did something I'm not used to. Typically I get frustrated if something goes wrong and I let it get ahold of my better judgment. But this time I took a step back. I breathed deeply. I closed my eyes, prayed, and focused. Next shot, another miss. No, I won't get frustrated...just breathe, focus, clear the mind. Next shot rattled in. Then another. And then another. Shortly I was swishing my shots. Ahh...back to normal.

In the middle of my misses, a verse popped into my head. No idea where it came from, so it must have come from God because it really helped me. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." - Psalm 43:5, NIV. I think I saw this on someone's Facebook status (kudos for posting, whoever you are, it helped me). But since I don't have the full verse memorized, the only part that popped in my head was "Why are you downcast, O my soul?" But what a blessing this was to hear this verse. My soul has been VERY downcast lately. I had the blessing of talking with Bill last night, and shared with him all the things that I've been struggling with. I feel empty, like I haven't been fulfilling God's calling for me and that I've strayed from the righteous path. But I took this verse like the question that it is: why are you downcast, O my soul? Why? Well...I don't know. I don't really have any reason to be. So then the command: Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My shot was veering to the left and right of the hoop, even airballing. I stepped back and prayed and focused, and my shot became true.

And it was right after this that the main thought of this post hit me. Perfection. I'm certainly not perfect, far from it. But the thought that hit me was, "I don't have to be perfect, God is already perfect FOR me!" You see the parallel...no matter if I missed my shot or made it, God is still perfect despite my distance from perfection. Sometimes in life we stray to the left or the right. We know the mark we want to achieve, but something we aren't always the straightest arrow shot from the quiver. We veer, we stray, we fall, we mess up. Doesn't matter...God's still perfect. But you see, there's a tricky verse that Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." - Matthew 5:48. Uh oh. BE perfect? Well, the standard has been set for us. The context of this verse is the entirety of Matthew 5. Jesus lists all of the commands that we should be following, and doesn't give us an excuse to not follow them. So then following all of these things, this will make us perfect? "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away" - Isaiah 64:6. Oops, so all of our good deeds are worth nothing then, so how do we become perfect? "The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" - Matthew 25:40.

How do we become perfect? The only way possible is to commune with the only one who IS already perfect, God. I can't tell you the peace I felt tonight when it was just me and God in the gym, practicing my free throws. I was with the Father and He was with me. The only way we stray from the righteous path is simply a lack of communion with God. We define sin as that action which separates us from God. Sinlessness is perfection, therefore the only way to be perfect is to deliberately and desperately commune with Perfection Himself, God. When we are separated from Him, we are in sin. Everyone needs alone time with God...this is why it's so stressed upon and so important, because we're not going to get true communion with God otherwise (dear future me, I'm talking to YOU. Take note.) Why are you downcast, O my soul? I've separated myself from God. I have yet to meet a person that is TRULY happy while staying separate from God. We live in a world full of broken promises and shattered lives. Don't tell me for one second that you're happy without God (now I'm talking to others). Dare to truly analyze your heart, and only then try to tell me that you're happy without God...but I still won't believe it. I'm an absolute disaster area without God in my life. I am so far from perfect, but I am near to the One who IS perfect, which makes me perfect. Complete. Whole. I'm not talking about morals in this thing. I'm talking about being as we once were. God used to walk around in the garden with us! THAT is perfection, being as we were MEANT to be! God creates us sinless, with a free will, in full communion with Him. Then Adam sinned, and now we are force to be separated from Him until we accept Jesus as savior. I know some people don't like the term "saved" because they don't think they need to be rescued. Well fine, then think of it as, God's just that freaking awesome. So don't get "saved", get "God's just that freaking awesome", and you'll come to realize the sin you're in and the perfection and completeness that you can only find in God. God doesn't expect us to not sin, because we're not God. I know I mess up...and every time I do I have to battle back to get on the right path again. But the only way to do that is to surrender my efforts to God and begin to commune with Him. God fills me up every time..."O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him." - Psalm 34:8. Don't think for one second that your life is good without God. As the verse says, taste and see just how good God is. He's not just a hard-nosed fun-sucking rule-driver...He's my Father, and your's too. Go to Him...He's waiting with a complete life you've never imagined before.

Tonight my shot became true. At the end of my shooting session, I took a few shots with my eyes closed. Missed the first 2, swished the next 2. Even blind, God still guided my shot. Even blind, God still guides my future. I will most likely stray again, but God is always waiting with open arms to complete me. What a great God we have.

"While I live will I praise the LORD: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being." - Psalm 146:2